Do you let Weather dictate????

[Grassi21]

Originally Posted by Greg

I cannot stand people like that. I look for honesty in friends. If he didn't want to go, he should have told you the night before, at the latest. I would've went alone; you would have not been as pissed about the whole situation then. I had a "friend" that blew me off going skiing once. Never called, never showed. Granted - he's no longer a friend. Dependability is an important trait to have in a backpacking companion. Doesn't sound like this is the type of guy I'd want to lean on in a critical situation. New friends indeed.

I once drove 1.5 hrs on a beautiful fall day to play poker with some HS friends. The host got too blasted in Atlantic City the night before and never made it back to his house. I sat in front of his place for 30 minutes before one of my other boys called to tell me the game was canceled. I could have done a hike with the wife and dogs but missed that opportunity. What pissed me off the most is that the host didn't see how he was at fault. He said he made a killing at the tables and got too drunk....

I'm only 29, but as we get older your circle of friends gets smaller and smaller. We had a legitimate crew of 20 guys in HS that did everything together. Out of those 20 guys I stay in touch with and plan activities with 2 of them.

[Greg]

Originally Posted by Grassi21

I'm only 29, but as we get older your circle of friends gets smaller and smaller. We had a legitimate crew of 20 guys in HS that did everything together. Out of those 20 guys I stay in touch with and plan activities with 2 of them.

Very true. Number of friends I still have from high school: 0

I have a few good friends from college still that we keep in touch with. We're all at similar points in our lives (marriage, kids, homes, etc.) so there's still a lot that we have in common now. I still talk with my old college roomate several times per week.

[SkiDog]

Originally Posted by Grassi21

I once drove 1.5 hrs on a beautiful fall day to play poker with some HS friends. The host got too blasted in Atlantic City the night before and never made it back to his house. I sat in front of his place for 30 minutes before one of my other boys called to tell me the game was canceled. I could have done a hike with the wife and dogs but missed that opportunity. What pissed me off the most is that the host didn't see how he was at fault. He said he made a killing at the tables and got too drunk....

I'm only 29, but as we get older your circle of friends gets smaller and smaller. We had a legitimate crew of 20 guys in HS that did everything together. Out of those 20 guys I stay in touch with and plan activities with 2 of them.

This is equally as lame as my situation....my buddy, I don't think, see it as him being at fault either....

The circle of friends does shrink over the years.....this is the 1 and only person I went to high school with that I still talk to...and hang out with.....guess he might be on his way out too...shame..

M

[Grassi21]

Originally Posted by SkiDog

This is equally as lame as my situation....my buddy, I don't think, see it as him being at fault either....

The circle of friends does shrink over the years.....this is the 1 and only person I went to high school with that I still talk to...and hang out with.....guess he might be on his way out too...shame..

M

I'm all for forgiveness if the person knows they are wrong, and more importantly, learns a lesson about valuing other people's time as much as theirs.

[SkiDog]

Originally Posted by Grassi21

I'm all for forgiveness if the person knows they are wrong, and more importantly, learns a lesson about valuing other people's time as much as theirs.

Only time will tell...have heard nothing from him since saturday at 8:25 when I closed the door to my house essentially in his face..

M

[JimG.]

You know, I can't tell you how many acquaintances I have who get me on the phone and want to "plan" out a trip to go skiing. I used to play along and even would get annoyed when they wouldn't show up, even though I was going to be there anyway.

Then I realized something...I'M GOING TO BE THERE ANYWAY! Why am I making "plans"? So now, I stop my "friends" with their "plans" and just tell them to call me on the cell phone when they arrive at Hunter and I'll meet them. Much easier! The moral...make your own plans and plan to go alone if that's smart and safe.

And I put "friends" in that paragraph in parentheses because my best friends are out skiing anyway too.

[andyzee]

I used to make plans with friends, learned my lesson, no more. I now plan for myself and my wife, and if someone wants to join us and there's no chance of them screwing things up, that's fine. Of course there are always exceptions to this rule, and I usually wind up kicking myself in the butt after them

[thetrailboss]

Originally Posted by JimG.

You know, I can't tell you how many acquaintances I have who get me on the phone and want to "plan" out a trip to go skiing. I used to play along and even would get annoyed when they wouldn't show up, even though I was going to be there anyway.

Then I realized something...I'M GOING TO BE THERE ANYWAY! Why am I making "plans"? So now, I stop my "friends" with their "plans" and just tell them to call me on the cell phone when they arrive at Hunter and I'll meet them. Much easier! The moral...make your own plans and plan to go alone if that's smart and safe.

And I put "friends" in that paragraph in parentheses because my best friends are out skiing anyway too.

I've been watching this thread and thinking about my response. Jim captures my thoughts....just plan for you.

Might sound anti-social, and yes, I have read, "Bowling Alone," but I have found that for some reason people just don't want to commit to anything anymore. In college, we had no problem getting 20 people to sign up for a hike, but we'd be lucky if 5 showed up for the event. Approximately 24 hours before, the "cop-out" phenomenon would begin...or when my voicemail would begin to fill with people calling to get out of the event. Most would not call me, but leave a "silent" message so they avoided speaking directly to me. Some E-mailed. The excuses varied from "too much work" to "something else came up" to nothing at all. I at first was but it just made me later and After time, the die-hards would show and we had a good time.

Now this is a more informal thing that you're experiencing. Personally, if I commit to something, I commit. I am weather wary and if things are going to be dangerous, I will push for a rescheduling. When I hike, I go solo and weather is the biggest factor...for safety, comfort, and to get the "just desserts" of my efforts. Needless to say, this spring has been pathetic for hiking thanks to the Monsoon season. In planning, I set a hike and plan when I can do it and the weather cooperates. If friends come, cool. If not, I still go. I understand how frustrating it is though when something is planned so far in advance and your partners back out at the last minute. My advice would be to announce up front if the plans are rain or shine and set a deadline for the "point of no return." Communications solves lots of problems.

[SkiDog]

Originally Posted by andyzee

I used to make plans with friends, learned my lesson, no more. I now plan for myself and my wife, and if someone wants to join us and there's no chance of them screwing things up, that's fine. Of course there are always exceptions to this rule, and I usually wind up kicking myself in the butt after them

Oh ill likely accept the berry picking invitation only to be a "no show"

M

[thetrailboss]

And one thing I will say: don't be afraid to PM or coordinate things with folks from this forum. In my experience, the familiar faces in here commit and are very pleasant to ski, hike, hang out with. Very open. I skied with many AZer's this season and nobody stood me up (and if they did not come, there was polite advance notice). In ski outings, communications have been excellent. Bob R is the man...he's there rain or shine and so are many other folks. In NYC I met with Beano and YardSaleDad. Two guys I did not know real well, but great fun and very friendly....good rapport. So if you want some friends, don't be afraid to PM. This is not meant to be a shameless plug either!

In general, here is where I hike so folks who would like company or advice, feel free to PM Me:

White Mountain 4000 Footers
Central and Northern Greens
NEK and Central Vermont Mountains
Ski Areas
Wapack and Monadnock Regions
Other NH Areas Beyond the Whites
Some experience with the 'Dacks