Hiking: It’s Gonna Suck To Be You If……

It’s Gonna Suck To Be You If……

• You didn’t pack enough food and you’re running short.
• Worse, you’re out of food and the river crossing is too dangerous to ford.
• You’re carrying too much weight and should have left some of it home.
• You slip off the bog bridging and find yourself knee deep in mud.
• You’re injured and don’t know how to get out of the 100 Mile Wilderness.
• You didn’t take the time to break in your new boots.
• You come face to face with a bull moose and it’s mating season.
• Poor planning on your part causes you discomfort, inconvenience or injury.
• You get caught hunting or fishing without a license.
• Worse yet, you make a fire at an unauthorized campsite.
• It’s late summer and the water sources at Long Pond Stream, Chairback Gap and Wadleigh Stream lean-tos are dried up and you’re out of water.
• You get giardia because you didn’t treat your water.
• It’s 2am and you have the “Hershey squirts” and can’t find your flashlight or toilet paper.
• Your knees buckle and your lungs are about to burst because your pack weight exceeds your body weight.
• You fail to loosen your shoulder straps and unbuckle your waist belt before fording any water crossing.
• You don’t have any dry clothes to change into at days end.
• You think that since it’s July or August, you don’t need to carry cold weather gear.
• You fail to treat the seams of your tent with sealant.
• Your gear gets wet because you forgot to put everything into plastic bags.
• It rains for days on end and there is still more rain in the forecast.
• You’re hiking during black fly, deerfly or mosquito season.
• You arrive at a shelter and it’s pouring rain and the shelter is full.
• The campsite you plan to stay at is occupied by a camp or scout group.
• You didn’t get in shape before the hike and now you wish you had.
• You fail to make reservations at Baxter State Park and find out there is no place for you to stay.
• Your dog is wet, just rolled in something and makes himself comfortable on somebody else’s sleeping bag.
• You forgot to bring your bug dope or headnet

-You're hiking behind your buddy who had Taco Bell last night.
-You've been lucky not hanging your food or using a bear canister until NOW.
-Mice raid your food/down bag/TP.
-You're unprepared without a flashlight/headlamp and it gets dark.
-You take the wrong trail down and end up miles from your vehicle.
-You arrive at the summit only to find someone loudly using his/her cellphone. :uzi:
-You go to blowup your mattress pad to find it has a hole in it.
-You eat something your body doesn't agree with and have the shits all day.

The list goes on...

your friend arrives in the dark with a fancy press type coffee maker, and you decide on a couple cups before bed. It's 20 degrees out, and you're nice and toasty in your bag....and it's 1 a.m...1:12 a.m....1:30 a.m. ....1:44 a.m.......

^haha no coffee after 1pm for me!
-your dog takes a dump / piss in or on the tent / sleeping bag...

You aren't into packing an appropriate map...to at least get your directions for where help is.