Dope-slap things I have done when skiing

billski said:

This is the most entertaining thread on AZ!

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Definitely!

It was my third time, beginning to do turns and go down greens. I did't know what a park is. Just went into the "trail" and decided to ski over "that ramp". Face plant!

This may not be dope slap in the strictest term as much as a learning curve, but either way I didn't use the greatest amount of judgement.

i was at jay which is know for a lot of things, but the terrain park certainly not one of them. I was hitting all the jumps with no issues except the biggest one. I decided to hit it at the end of the day, and built up as much speed as possible, hit the jump, and in mid air I'm thinking "o s&@$ I've overshot the landing!!" And I wayyyy overshot it. By a good 10 feet. While still mid air, I panicked, and was leaning too far back. Hit the flat ground with my behind, HARD, double ejected and slid onto the ramp for the next jump where I stopped. My tailbone hurt like hell, I thought I broke it I hit the ground so hard, but thankfully, I did not.

skiNEwhere said:

This may not be dope slap in the strictest term as much as a learning curve, but either way I didn't use the greatest amount of judgement.

i was at jay which is know for a lot of things, but the terrain park certainly not one of them. I was hitting all the jumps with no issues except the biggest one. I decided to hit it at the end of the day, and built up as much speed as possible, hit the jump, and in mid air I'm thinking "o s&@$ I've overshot the landing!!" And I wayyyy overshot it. By a good 10 feet. While still mid air, I panicked, and was leaning too far back. Hit the flat ground with my behind, HARD, double ejected and slid onto the ramp for the next jump where I stopped. My tailbone hurt like hell, I thought I broke it I hit the ground so hard, but thankfully, I did not.

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Too bad you didn't have a GoPro for that one!

I was at copper in November in the parking lot after I was done for the day, I I see this group of four skiers in their car with their skis in the ski rack, but the top bar the holds then down was still up!!! They just started pulling out, thankfully they had their window down, I yelled at them and they stopped and I told them. They guy said "thanks" but he was also trying to pull it off like he knew it was open and he was going to secure it in a minute.

Copper is right next to I-70, he probably would've made it onto the freeway before the skis started flying off. Would not want to be behind that car! Unless they were nice skis, then maybe. I did see a kayak on I-70 last June.


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skiNEwhere said:

I was at copper in November in the parking lot after I was done for the day, I I see this group of four skiers in their car with their skis in the ski rack, but the top bar the holds then down was still up!!! They just started pulling out, thankfully they had their window down, I yelled at them and they stopped and I told them. They guy said "thanks" but he was also trying to pull it off like he knew it was open and he was going to secure it in a minute.

Copper is right next to I-70, he probably would've made it onto the freeway before the skis started flying off. Would not want to be behind that car! Unless they were nice skis, then maybe. I did see a kayak on I-70 last June.


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That was me, coming back from Loon about 10 years ago. I probably posted this one. Drove all the way to the interstate (5 miles?) with sets of skis on scissors racks, both sides open. Got up to about 60 mph and heard a funny noise. Looked in mirror to see my buddy's pair of skis hurtling about 15 feet in the air, landing between the tires of an 18-wheeler.

billski said:

That was me, coming back from Loon about 10 years ago. I probably posted this one. Drove all the way to the interstate (5 miles?) with sets of skis on scissors racks, both sides open. Got up to about 60 mph and heard a funny noise. Looked in mirror to see my buddy's pair of skis hurtling about 15 feet in the air, landing between the tires of an 18-wheeler.

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Ouch. I'm guessing there was some major core damage

skiNEwhere said:

This may not be dope slap in the strictest term as much as a learning curve, but either way I didn't use the greatest amount of judgement.

i was at jay which is know for a lot of things, but the terrain park certainly not one of them. I was hitting all the jumps with no issues except the biggest one. I decided to hit it at the end of the day, and built up as much speed as possible, hit the jump, and in mid air I'm thinking "o s&@$ I've overshot the landing!!" And I wayyyy overshot it. By a good 10 feet. While still mid air, I panicked, and was leaning too far back. Hit the flat ground with my behind, HARD, double ejected and slid onto the ramp for the next jump where I stopped. My tailbone hurt like hell, I thought I broke it I hit the ground so hard, but thankfully, I did not.

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Love those! You have ample time to contemplate what you did wrong before impact

skiNEwhere said:

Ouch. I'm guessing there was some major core damage

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By damn luck and little prudent packing all they got was a bit scuffed. They were bound bottom to bottom and in a ski bag to protect from the elements. The truck missed them entirely as did the cars behind him. My bud said they skied just fine. Least I could do was buy him a new bag.

After lunch at a summit lodge we head out for a few runs on our favorite moderately steep trails. I had forgotten to put my goggle back on, and they were resting on top of my helmet visor. Somehow they were knocked off the visor and ended up hanging off the clip in the back behind my head. The wind is picking up and the snow spray is starting to blind me.

I think to myself: no problem, I can reach back, grab the goggle, and slap em on while riding without missing a beat!

Needless to say, this is more difficult than it sounds and I'm not as coordinated as I think I am. Also, its easy to forget how fast you are going when you get used to your own personal cruising speed.

I reach back and almost instantly hit the deck backwards. At first I decide to keep my feet up a little to not catch an edge and summersault. After 60+ feet of sliding I realize I'm not really slowing down. Somehow I start spinning on my ass as I'm sliding down the trail, one minute my head is uphill, the next minute it is facing downhill. Snow is hitting my shoulders and armpits (depending on my orientation at the time) and shooting up into the air like the wake of a pair of jetskiers racing each other on a wavy day at the beach. I begin to hit some natural bumps, which at least slows me down but creates little explosions of powdery snow every few seconds.

I was miraculously completely un-hurt (not even mild soreness!).

A small crowd gathered around me after I came to a stop but before I had gathered all my wits, ostensibly to see if I was OK, but more likely just to be a part of the moment.

I looked up the trail where you could faintly see 150+ feet upslope the spot where I fell and told myself not to try that again.

skiNEwhere said:

This may not be dope slap in the strictest term as much as a learning curve, but either way I didn't use the greatest amount of judgement.

i was at jay which is know for a lot of things, but the terrain park certainly not one of them. I was hitting all the jumps with no issues except the biggest one. I decided to hit it at the end of the day, and built up as much speed as possible, hit the jump, and in mid air I'm thinking "o s&@$ I've overshot the landing!!" And I wayyyy overshot it. By a good 10 feet. While still mid air, I panicked, and was leaning too far back. Hit the flat ground with my behind, HARD, double ejected and slid onto the ramp for the next jump where I stopped. My tailbone hurt like hell, I thought I broke it I hit the ground so hard, but thankfully, I did not.

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Crap. I can barely clear the table.

Recently I took off a polyester turtle neck shirt at lunch and couldn't find it afterwards. I went back out skiing and after about four good runs I was on the chairlift and tried to pull up the hood on my jacket. The turtle neck was sitting in the hood and hadn't fallen out after 45 minutes of skiing. :???:

Long ago and far away, in my rush for first chair, put my helmet on backwards. Didn't take too long to figure that out when I couldn't buckle it!

I HAD a sweet red corduroy baseball style hat from Brodie(RIP) I must have taken it off when we sat down to lunch in the lodge by Outer Limits. This was over 10 years ago and I still kick myself over it. We had left the lodge and were getting back to our skis when a cute blonde girl came out of the lodge and said "hey you forgot your hat!!" I didn't realize she was talking to me though and skied away :-( figured it out once I got home, sux on so many levels.

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Rowsdower said:

Love those! You have ample time to contemplate what you did wrong before impact

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I remember a spring day 2-3 years ago at Waterville Valley. I had watched the approach all morning and it was simply start at the platform above, one speed check turn before the ramp and plenty of air time. Unfortunately I hit it after lunch when the snow had warmed up a bit. I did it just as planned with one speed check before the ramp, opened up an enormous old school spread eagle complete with poles between the legs only to hear, "oh shit" from the bystanders. Looked down at the landing and it was obvious I wasn't going to make it. Cased it a foot before the landing zone. Soaked up everything I could in the legs and even bounced my butt off the bindings. Didn't help as I bruised both heels and I was done for the weekend.

Cornhead said:

Yep, sheepishly brought them in today. They all got a good laugh over it. They're not going to replace the edge, just secure it back in place. That edge will never be an inside edge again. Oh yeah, only $20

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Duuuuuude! Don't trust a ski with a torn or broken edge. They can rip loose and do some major damage to the human body through slicing, dicing or puncturing. Seriously, no self respecting ski shop should have allowed that hazard back in public.

Many moons ago at Killington riding up South Ridge chair, reached the mid station, had a pair of Scott poles with the grips clipped onto the inside of the satey bar, The chair tilted back then learched forward. I reached for my poles to find 2 perfectly bent L shapes.
Stopped in ski shop and bought a pair of new poles, Riding up chair with someone else and explaining what happened touched one new pole to the snow as we passed the midstaion , Heard a snap and saw the lower 3'' missing from my new pole.!@#$%^&. pulled off the basket and forced it onto the stump.Skied the rest of the day with a short pole.
Still using my old Scott grips on 3rd set of poles, still flexible and feel great. Maybe another 20yrs ?

Putting hand warmers in the same pocket as my chocolate bar

bump. I need a good laugh!

About 3 yrs ago I hit Whaleback on a midweek night while I was travelling for work. I was by myself and the place was basically empty. I was having fun just lapping the hill and skiing what was open. I had never been to Whaleback before so I didn't know the mountain at all. I noticed near the top of the lift that there was a small cliff on the side that if you looped off the trail you could turn back towards it and huck off of it, land, & then ski back onto the trail. It was about 4-5 ft tall. It was lightly snowing and the landing was unskied and looked OK.

So of course I decided to try it. Came off the lift, built up some speed, swung out to go over the cliff, hit it, had a nice lift & then landed on the inch or two of snow that I thought was covering some more snow.

I was wrong. It covered some gravel/stones (I now know why the few people who were there weren’t hitting it). When I landed my skis immediately locked up like they had just bolted to the ground with a Hilti gun. I double ejected and went sailing thru the air towards the trail at Tuna speed levels. I landed face/chest first onto rock hard snow & skidded for a ways. I landed on my chest/front so hard that it knocked the wind out of me like I had never felt before. I literally could not catch a breath for several minutes and wondered if I was going to somehow suffocate & die on a ski hill. When I was able to breathe a little bit more I was doing the self-check “am I even still alive” stuff. Thought I had dislocated my shoulder and broke some ribs. After about 15 minutes I realized I was OK. Felt the pain for several days afterwards but nothing broken. Since the place was empty no one ever skied by and no ski patrol. I just sat there on the trail in a daze.

I stopped by the bar afterwards. No one in there except Evan. He was just putting up some shelves and doing work around the bar. He poured me a beer and we talked. I told him the story. He said “yah, we need more snow before that landing is OK”. At that point I was painfully aware of that.

When I was 10 or 11, I was at Windham and rode the lift with 2 hot chicks in their 20's. For some reason I thought it would be cool to let them get off first. I ended up having to jump off the lift from 10 feet. (The lift all the way to the right with the bullwheel up the hill a bit) It gave me a nose bleed and everyone was panicking from the bloody snow. Once the bleeding stopped, I was outa there. The next run was funny because everyone was talking about the kid that fell off the lift.

Well this is a pseudo skiing story. On Saturday we dropped my Mother off at my sisters place. While we were there my son asked to sleep over to spend time with his cousins. Now we had talked about skiing on Sunday at Bretton Woods for their free day. Before we left, we were told that two of the cousins were going to paintball on Sunday. My wife asked our son if he wanted to go and of course he was all over it. I asked my wife "what about skiing?" and she came back with - we can be there by noon and our son will go to the cousins after paintball. So I am still stoked. Then we find out that Wildcat will be open. Even more stoke! The next morning we get a call and find out there is no after paintball plan option so we were going to have to pick him up by 4. Now skiing was out and I was depressed, literally sadden by that fact.

Here is the kicker. Later Sunday night I was showing my son some opening day video from Wildcat and my son asks "Why didn't we go?". I then told him that his Mom said that you wanted to go paintball. He then said "She asked about paintball, but never asked about skiing! I would have gone skiing!". Dohhhhh!

Moral of the story - lay all the options out there!