billski
Active member
"Can't you just give me Office 2003 back?" he whines.
"Sorry, Office 2003 is ancient history – like calculator watches, white jeans for men and the expression 'snazzy'."
"why is Office 2003 history?"
"Because there's a revenue stream to protect."
"A revenue stream?"
"Yeah, you know, give a man a fish and he's fed for a day, sell a man a fishing rod and he's fed for a week – till you release fishing rod 2.0 which doesn't snap with fish heavier than a pound, then he's fed for another week – till you release fishing rod 3.0, which doesn't snap on fish heavier that 1.25 pounds, and he's fed for another week, and so on. You keep paying."
"But in the end you'll run out of versions."
"Weren't you listening earlier? We'll never run out of versions!
"I didn't think so. And so you'll realise that you don't want to upgrade to the latest rod because this one catches fish just fine."
"I..."
"But what you don't know is that we've designed new fish which won't work with the old rods – though we know that even these changes won't work forever, so we start implying that we never sold you the rod in the first place – we just leased it to you."
...
"If by extortion you mean the world of licensing, then yes. A base rod licence will permit you to fish without reel, line, sinkers etc. On dry land, into dirt. You can buy the equipment addons, the streams and rivers addon, the salt water addon which, if purchased with the streams and rivers addon permits you to fish from land into the sea, but not from on a boat into the sea – because that requires the open water licence addon."
"Why would I buy a salt water licence by itself then?"
"Because you might want to fill your tub with salt water and fish in it. We don't know why you'd want to, but we're sure people do that, and this permits them to do so. Oh, and fishing is a trademark of ours now, as is saltwater, salt, water, streams, rivers, any wavy sign that doesn't look like that of a popular carbonated beverage, etc."
More agony here
"Sorry, Office 2003 is ancient history – like calculator watches, white jeans for men and the expression 'snazzy'."
"why is Office 2003 history?"
"Because there's a revenue stream to protect."
"A revenue stream?"
"Yeah, you know, give a man a fish and he's fed for a day, sell a man a fishing rod and he's fed for a week – till you release fishing rod 2.0 which doesn't snap with fish heavier than a pound, then he's fed for another week – till you release fishing rod 3.0, which doesn't snap on fish heavier that 1.25 pounds, and he's fed for another week, and so on. You keep paying."
"But in the end you'll run out of versions."
"Weren't you listening earlier? We'll never run out of versions!
"I didn't think so. And so you'll realise that you don't want to upgrade to the latest rod because this one catches fish just fine."
"I..."
"But what you don't know is that we've designed new fish which won't work with the old rods – though we know that even these changes won't work forever, so we start implying that we never sold you the rod in the first place – we just leased it to you."
...
"If by extortion you mean the world of licensing, then yes. A base rod licence will permit you to fish without reel, line, sinkers etc. On dry land, into dirt. You can buy the equipment addons, the streams and rivers addon, the salt water addon which, if purchased with the streams and rivers addon permits you to fish from land into the sea, but not from on a boat into the sea – because that requires the open water licence addon."
"Why would I buy a salt water licence by itself then?"
"Because you might want to fill your tub with salt water and fish in it. We don't know why you'd want to, but we're sure people do that, and this permits them to do so. Oh, and fishing is a trademark of ours now, as is saltwater, salt, water, streams, rivers, any wavy sign that doesn't look like that of a popular carbonated beverage, etc."
More agony here
