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Taxes explained by beer

ctenidae

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Even accounting for the Ayn Rand-ness, pretty good:


Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings)
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
'I only got a dollar out of the $ 20,' declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'
'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a Dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'
'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'
'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, this is how our tax system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia
 

drjeff

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I've seen that one before, and it Oh so eloquently describes our tax system and its "fairness"

Probably need to modify it though now to where the tenth guy is paying the first 4 or 5 to drink beer, guys 6 through 8 pay less, guy 9 pays the same, and the tenth man then picks up the rest of the bar bill. With an addendum, the after a couple of weeks/months, the tenth man then has to fire the first 5 guys since he doesn't have enough $$ left to pay them to work for him anymore :rolleyes: :beer: ;)
 

mondeo

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In before the lock...

This was my reply to the guy who emailed me this at work:

The real issue here is that when the bartender cuts $20 off the bill, it puts him into the red. Meanwhile, due to the lower prices, the men start drinking more. After a couple years, their kidneys fail and they die, and their children who are now of legal drinking age have to pay $125 for that same round of beers to cover the losses incurred during the years of 20% off drinks.

Also needs a modification that says the 10th guy gets a $50 kick back from the owner for bringing the drunkards in every week.
 

ctenidae

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In before the lock...

This was my reply to the guy who emailed me this at work:

The real issue here is that when the bartender cuts $20 off the bill, it puts him into the red. Meanwhile, due to the lower prices, the men start drinking more. After a couple years, their kidneys fail and they die, and their children who are now of legal drinking age have to pay $125 for that same round of beers to cover the losses incurred during the years of 20% off drinks.

Also needs a modification that says the 10th guy gets a $50 kick back from the owner for bringing the drunkards in every week.

Nice
 

tree_skier

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In our current system the first four would get a kickback (earned income/beer credit).

The new bartender comes in a says "we need change", "it's time to redistribute the wealth", and "I will cut the price of beer to 95% of the beer drinkers". So he raises the price of beer to $120 giving an extra $5 to each of the first four, rolls back the beer cut for the next 5 and proceeds to give them half of that back leaving the ten man to pay the rest. So now.....



the first four, originally paid $0 now Received $5
the fifth originally paid $1 then $0 now .50
The sixth originally paid $3 then $2 now $2.50
The seventh originally paid $7 then $5 now $6
The eighth originally paid $12 then $9 now $10.50
The ninth originally paid $18 then $14 now $16
The tenth originally paid $59 then $49 now $84.50

So the tenth went to the Irish pub down the road where the beer for the night cost him $11 leaving the first nine to figure out how to pay the now $120 tab
 

Glenn

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I LOL'd.

The end of the first one needs to be changed:

"The other 9 formed a union and demanded the 10th guy start paying more. The bartender passed a law that patrons could only burp one time per sitting and farting would be banned due to potentail carbon output. Guy #10 moved his beer drinking operation to another country due to the increased cost of business. Guys 9 through 1 continue to complain..."
 

Marc

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All I've seen in this thread so far is

"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah FREE BEERblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
 

tree_skier

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All I've seen in this thread so far is

"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah FREE BEERblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

said one of the first four guys
 

ctenidae

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All I've seen in this thread so far is

"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah FREE BEERblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Count on Marc to quickly get to the important bits.
 

Moe Ghoul

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Meanwhile, the 10th guy owns the beer distributorship in town, is a silent partner in the bar they drink in, and outsourced man 1-4's jobs from his textile operation to some dirt poor, unregulated country. Man 5-7 are underpaid domestic help for his 3 McMansions tending to the landscaping and maintenance, and also rent apartments from him. Man 8 and 9 are his CPA and tax attorney that finesse his balance sheets and loophole his assets thru complicated tax schemes and offshoring accounts that never get reported to the IRS thereby under reporting or not reporting taxable income, thanks to lobbying efforts that he contributes to over the years. To his credit, he does make sizeable charitable contributions since its good PR and he gets a deduction for that as well. His wife also happens to run the non profit foundation he donates to and created, so a portion of the contribution comes back thru her income. Still dissatisfied with his current tax plight, he abandons his drinking pals and sails overseas on his 120 ft. yacht. As he cruises near Malaysia en route to Macao, his yacht is seized by pirates. He bitterly complains that the sea channels should be better protected by the navy. Then it dawns on him, taxes pay for defense, and he had the most to lose out of the group of 10.

Moral of the story: Sometimes its better to drink alone and everyone pays there own bill.
 

Glenn

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I rely on the saw mostly. Husqvarna 372xp to be exact. Yay firewood.

A buddy of mine is borrowing a log splitter this weekend. I told him I'm jelous. Log splitters are fun tools. Although, with no stove, I don't really have a reason to borrow one. :smash:
 
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