andyzee
New member
Trojan Elexa Ultra Sensitive Condom – 24 Pack
$3.99 + $5 shipping
condition: New, Bulk product: 24 Trojan Elexa Ultra Sensitive Condom Discuss this product (251 comments)
I want one!
It was a sunny afternoon in March when she stopped by Woot’s creative offices. She said she was there to sell us ink cartridges for the office printer—but as it would happen, she also ushered our two wide-eyed interns into manhood. She called herself Elexa. What a vision! She was thin, but strong. Sophisticated, but sort of trashy. She did not give off too strong an odor of latex. Homer and Jake were no match for this seductress.
One at a time, she led them into our utility storage room—a room no one wants to go into anymore, thanks a lot Homer and Jake—and tutored them in the ways of physical love. But before she began, she asked each of them: “you don’t want me to be with child, do you?”
Homer and Jake both answered no. “In that case,” she said, “you’ll have to wear one of these.” And she produced reservoir-tipped prophylactics from America’s number one condom manufacturer, Trojan, a name that’s been trusted for over 80 years, though one hopes not by any single user continuously.
Then she thrilled and deflowered each of our interns in an order they determined by rock-paper-scissors. They’ll remember that day the rest of their lives—because when they left that utility storage room, they left their innocence behind. Along with like 15 reams of paper that no one wants to use anymore, since who knows what happened on it.
Homer and Jake didn’t speak to each other about that day for some time. Then, six weeks later, Jake turned to Homer in the middle of a big Fed-Ex envelope-stuffing project and asked “hey, you remember that ink saleslady? In the utility storage room?”
“Do I?” Homer said. “That was the most exciting 17 seconds of my life!”
“Me too,” Jake said. “But I’ve been thinking. Do you really care if she becomes ‘with child?’”
“I guess not especially,” Homer said.
“Me neither,” said Jake. “And seeing as how I don’t care that much—and you don’t care that much—what do you say we take these things off?”
And that’s why we have a seven-year supply of ink cartridges now, and why interns are no longer authorized to place purchase orders.
Warranty: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Features:
Wootcast
Woot Podcast MP3 “Theme for Wooting-Off” (119 comments)
This week on Wine.Woot:
Jun 19 Greg Norman Shiraz - Two Pack
This week on Shirt.Woot:
Jun 20 335 Woolloomoo Way
Google Ads
Woot news
Add to My Yahoo!
Woot RSS Feed
Woot Midnightly Podcast
today WWWoundup: What The Filk? (1 comments) Jun 19 WWWoundup: Time Killers For Those Woot-Off Killers (8 comments) Jun 18 Yes, We Have Very Expensive Bananas: Woot Weads The Wire (11 comments) Jun 17 WWWoundup: Was Mopey One Of The Seven Dwarfs? (1 comments) Jun 16 WWWoundup: Fun Fun Fun 'Til Daddy Takes The Dymaxion Away (6 comments) Jun 16 Contest 178: The Bitter Endorsement (134 comments) Jun 13 Where She Flickrs, Nobody Knows: Friday Flickr Roulette (10 comments) Jun 13 Winners' Gallery: the Best of Contest 176 (20 comments) Jun 12 WWWoundup: Haven't We Played This Stage Before? (6 comments) Jun 11 WWWoundup: Stung By The Wasp Of Love (4 comments)
Google Ads
Product narratives are for entertainment purposes and frequently employ literary point of view; the narratives do not express Woot's editorial opinion. Aside from literary abuse, your use of this site also subjects you to Woot's terms of use and privacy policy.
Woot logos, site design, & content © Woot, Inc. 2004-2008. All Rights Reserved.
$3.99 + $5 shipping
condition: New, Bulk product: 24 Trojan Elexa Ultra Sensitive Condom Discuss this product (251 comments)
- product info
- product stats
It was a sunny afternoon in March when she stopped by Woot’s creative offices. She said she was there to sell us ink cartridges for the office printer—but as it would happen, she also ushered our two wide-eyed interns into manhood. She called herself Elexa. What a vision! She was thin, but strong. Sophisticated, but sort of trashy. She did not give off too strong an odor of latex. Homer and Jake were no match for this seductress.
One at a time, she led them into our utility storage room—a room no one wants to go into anymore, thanks a lot Homer and Jake—and tutored them in the ways of physical love. But before she began, she asked each of them: “you don’t want me to be with child, do you?”
Homer and Jake both answered no. “In that case,” she said, “you’ll have to wear one of these.” And she produced reservoir-tipped prophylactics from America’s number one condom manufacturer, Trojan, a name that’s been trusted for over 80 years, though one hopes not by any single user continuously.
Then she thrilled and deflowered each of our interns in an order they determined by rock-paper-scissors. They’ll remember that day the rest of their lives—because when they left that utility storage room, they left their innocence behind. Along with like 15 reams of paper that no one wants to use anymore, since who knows what happened on it.
Homer and Jake didn’t speak to each other about that day for some time. Then, six weeks later, Jake turned to Homer in the middle of a big Fed-Ex envelope-stuffing project and asked “hey, you remember that ink saleslady? In the utility storage room?”
“Do I?” Homer said. “That was the most exciting 17 seconds of my life!”
“Me too,” Jake said. “But I’ve been thinking. Do you really care if she becomes ‘with child?’”
“I guess not especially,” Homer said.
“Me neither,” said Jake. “And seeing as how I don’t care that much—and you don’t care that much—what do you say we take these things off?”
And that’s why we have a seven-year supply of ink cartridges now, and why interns are no longer authorized to place purchase orders.
Warranty: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Features:
- Low latex odor and premium lubricant
- Provide a closer, more intimate connection and greater comfort
- Designed thin yet manufactured with Trojan strength and reliability
- Straight Walled condom design with Reservoir End
- Trojan is America’s number 1 condom and trusted for over 80 years
- Trojan Elexa Ultra Sensitive products expire September 2010
- Triple Tested Trojan Quality
- Reduces the risk of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases
- Trojan Elexa Ultra Sensitive Condom (bulk packed, not in retail box)
Wootcast
Woot Podcast MP3 “Theme for Wooting-Off” (119 comments)
This week on Wine.Woot:
Jun 19 Greg Norman Shiraz - Two Pack
This week on Shirt.Woot:
Jun 20 335 Woolloomoo Way
Google Ads
Woot news
Add to My Yahoo!
Woot RSS Feed
Woot Midnightly Podcast
today WWWoundup: What The Filk? (1 comments) Jun 19 WWWoundup: Time Killers For Those Woot-Off Killers (8 comments) Jun 18 Yes, We Have Very Expensive Bananas: Woot Weads The Wire (11 comments) Jun 17 WWWoundup: Was Mopey One Of The Seven Dwarfs? (1 comments) Jun 16 WWWoundup: Fun Fun Fun 'Til Daddy Takes The Dymaxion Away (6 comments) Jun 16 Contest 178: The Bitter Endorsement (134 comments) Jun 13 Where She Flickrs, Nobody Knows: Friday Flickr Roulette (10 comments) Jun 13 Winners' Gallery: the Best of Contest 176 (20 comments) Jun 12 WWWoundup: Haven't We Played This Stage Before? (6 comments) Jun 11 WWWoundup: Stung By The Wasp Of Love (4 comments)
Google Ads
Product narratives are for entertainment purposes and frequently employ literary point of view; the narratives do not express Woot's editorial opinion. Aside from literary abuse, your use of this site also subjects you to Woot's terms of use and privacy policy.
Woot logos, site design, & content © Woot, Inc. 2004-2008. All Rights Reserved.
