Good work! I'm glad you hang around here, you give some interesting insight into some topics. Of course that's only 5% of your posts, the other 95% well... we'll just leave it at that. 
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Marc and I have been seen in the same place at the same time, so there is that.
And surprisingly we created no rift to any parallel dimensions, and the universe didn't collapse on itself or any other minor crises like I was expecting.
Can you funny finance me some cliff notes to the Intelligent Investor?
Buy low and sell high, unless you have a lot of money and a good contrarian snese, in which case you can sell high and buy low.
Avoid the bandwagon. Invest for the long term.
Set your parameters, and stick to them.
Get out when the getting's good, don't get attached to your stocks.
What goes up must come down, but what goes down doesn't have to come up.
If someone's showing outrageous returns, ask "Why?" Be skeptical.
Pawn shops, alcohol, and funeral homes will almost always make money. People are always going broke, wanting to get drunk, and dying. Garbage and prisons are pretty good, too. What the pawn shop won't take, teh garbage man will, and sometimes people get too drunk.
Fundamentals are more important than technicals. Don't try to time the market.
Diversify, but do it intelligently, not just for the sake of diversification. A lot of stuff is a lot more corellated than you think.
Learn to read a financial statement.
Don't take anyone's free advice.