I just pass it on...

[Marc]

Guy walks into a bar wearing nothing but plastic wrap around his waist and genitals.

Bartender looks at him and says- "Well sir, I can clearly see you're/r nuts."




That one works better when it's spoken.

 

[drjeff]

Why do most truck drivers have dogs with them???




Because sheep would be too obvious!

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Why do most truck drivers have dogs with them???




Because sheep would be too obvious!

I get it...like to have sex with..gross

 

[severine]

Messed Up Headlines

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
Oklahoma's construction program!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Guy walks into a bar wearing nothing but plastic wrap around his waist and genitals.

Bartender looks at him and says- "Well sir, I can clearly see you're/r nuts."




That one works better when it's spoken.

I thought it was guy walks into a psychologists office and asks what's wrong with him..lol..anyway that was one of my buddy Larrys favorites..

What's brown and sits in the woods..

Winnies Poo

 

[Mildcat]

messed up headlines

man kills self before shooting wife and daughter
this one i caught in the sgv tribune the other day and called the editorial room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

something went wrong in jet crash, expert says
no, really?

police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
now that's taking things a bit far!

panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over
what a guy!

miners refuse to work after death
no-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

juvenile court to try shooting defendant
see if that works any better than a fair trial!

war dims hope for peace
i can see where it might have that effect!

if strike isn't settled quickly, it may last awhile
ya think?!

cold wave linked to temperatures
who would have thought!

couple slain; police suspect homicide
they may be on to something!

red tape holds up new bridges
you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
Oklahoma's construction program!

man struck by lightning: Faces battery charge
he probably is the battery charge!

new study of obesity looks for larger test group
weren't they fat enough?!

astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
that's what he gets for eating those beans!

kids make nutritious snacks
do they taste like chicken?

local dropouts cut in half
chainsaw massacre all over again!

hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors
boy, are they tall!

And the winner is...

typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
did i read that right?

ahahahaha!!!