• Welcome to AlpineZone, the largest online community of skiers and snowboarders in the Northeast!

    You may have to REGISTER before you can post. Registering is FREE, gets rid of the majority of advertisements, and lets you participate in giveaways and other AlpineZone events!

Teaching Wife to ski

manhattanskier

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2013
Messages
281
Points
0
Location
Manhattan
Website
www.patriotbrass.org
Hello everyone,

I am looking for some advice, I have been skiing my whole life and I can ski pretty much anything as well as an armature can but I just got my wife into skiing last year so she is just starting out. I have been helping her but I feel like I am being a technique Nazi with her and just a nag and she does not like it when I get too far ahead of her. I am trying to get her to take more lessons and she has been but I still have to help her. After 12 days of skiing she is now a lower intermediate skier and I am really proud of her but should I let her find her own ski areas and style now so she makes the sport her own?

Thanks all!
 

Abubob

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
3,531
Points
63
Location
Alexandria, NH
Website
tee.pub
My feeling has always been let the professionals handle it. Even though I had taught for 5 years before I got married my bride of just a few months agreed to try skiing. So I brought her to Ski Sundown where a friend taught while I also got snowboard lessons for my two step-kids and myself. We all had a blast. Well my wife didn't want to go again until watching videos of myself skiing with my brothers thought it would be fun to try again. This time we went to Butternut but of course she'd lost all the knowledge and ability from the first lesson and was now being taught in a larger group by a total stranger. They couldn't even get her on the lift! After chewing out the director I took her over to the hill myself; had her do a few little things and led her to the lift where she got on and off just fine. Then I just had her follow me down the bunny trail a couple times. I really didn't have to show her a whole lot but she said she enjoyed my lesson much more. Anyway, she hasn't had the ambition to try again since.
 

Edd

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 8, 2006
Messages
6,537
Points
113
Location
Newmarket, NH
I'm sort of powerless to teach my GF anything. I try to get her to take lessons but she resists that too. At this point I'm pretty much hands off with her. If she has a good day, great. Otherwise, I'll meet her at the bar. She keeps going out there, for some reason.
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
150
Points
0
Speaking from experience,get the woman a few more lessons and try NOT to teach her. My wife took my comments/criticisms personally, not as a well-heeled skier speaking from years of skiing experience. It all worked out in the end and she's a great skier.
 

dlague

Active member
Joined
Nov 7, 2012
Messages
8,792
Points
36
Location
CS, Colorado
Well the key here is patience. Forgive me if I sound like a doting husband but .....

When my wife and I were dating (14 years ago) we talked about how much I liked skiing and she expressed interest so I took her on green trails at many of the local places like Ragged, Sunapee, Pats to name a few. Our kids were all learning at the same time (hers and mine). While I often wanted to ski harder terrain, I was patient and was looking at the long term. Often, while she chilled in the lodge she would have me go do harder runs on my own. We would ski often since number of days out makes all the difference in the world (15-20 times per season). Around year 3 our kids well on their way and skiing independently, I focused on blue trails and we repeated the same concept (now 20-30 times per season). Increasing the number of skiing days was key to her success. I also started to introduce her to concepts such as quick hop turns, side slipping, stressed forward lean and had her ski easier black trails (Twister and Cyclone) at Pats Peak as well as Trigger and Tiger at Gunstock. The next steps were a little harder due to the time - she seemed to be stuck at that level for a while. I think in part due to our newest member of the family our skiing days dropped and slowed progression. However, at 2.5 years old I tethered our son and at 3.5 years old he was skiing pretty good for his age. With that, I eventually bought gear that was above her ability, stiffer boots and more advanced skis which made all the difference in the world. We would now increase our number of skiing days to +30. I started to take her down trails like Vista Glades, Showoff, and Spillway at Bolton Valley, Andre's Paradise, JFK, Jet and Haynes at Jay Peak, almost anything at Waterville, Bretton Woods, Okemo. Last year we skied almost everything at Magic including Goniff Glade, Broomstick, Witches, Redline, etc.. She loves Tight lines and Casablanca Glades at Saddleback. I can go on and on! I always give her accolades on new accomplishments. She can get herself out of any situation and is comfortable in powder, most glades, crud and obviously groomers as well as handling bumps (does not like them yet), bullet proof and even extreme temps.

My wife has become my skiing partner, she keeps up with me for the most part. I think our kids helped to push her limits and I have always tried to talk her through tough spots. I can honestly say that my wife is a decent skier but it took patience. She has never taken a lesson, although I think lessons might have moved up her earlier progress. Don't get me wrong! Were there some tough times where she was pissed at me? Hell ya! Even a couple of weeks ago, I took her on a bump run and about mid way she was not happy - but she made it fine and I will continue to push her. On a final note: she is actually interested in taking and advanced lesson to learn better technique at this point.
 

joshua segal

Active member
Joined
Jan 31, 2014
Messages
991
Points
43
Location
Southern NH
Website
skikabbalah.com
I've heard a lot of stories (mostly with bad endings) of husbands teaching wives. Hiring a ski instructor is a lot cheaper than hiring a divorce attorney. And she can't blame you for ANYTHING!
 

MadMadWorld

Active member
Joined
Jan 10, 2012
Messages
4,082
Points
38
Location
Leominster, MA
Devil's advocate here......does she want to get better? It's not a bad thing but some people like to stay within their comfort level and just enjoy skiing within that ability. Nothing wrong with that.
 

manhattanskier

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2013
Messages
281
Points
0
Location
Manhattan
Website
www.patriotbrass.org
Devil's advocate here......does she want to get better? It's not a bad thing but some people like to stay within their comfort level and just enjoy skiing within that ability. Nothing wrong with that.

I think she does, as with a lot of my friends, I get them started but after a few times I leave it up to them to decide if they want to make it their own. I think I am going the same route with her, I want her to go skiing, even on her own, so it makes it her own and not something she associates just with me.
 

marcski

Active member
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
4,576
Points
36
Location
Westchester County, NY and a Mountain near you!
My father-in-law once gave me some sage advice with regard to road biking but it is definitely analogous to skiing..."Don't get my wife (his daughter) a road bike because then you'll have to ride with her."

With that said my wife skis but is kind of what MMW described above, not wanting to push herself past her comfort level to get better. The terminal advanced intermediate. And, the family that skis together stays together. But, other than just getting out there with her and making turns, I'd hire a professional.
 

joshua segal

Active member
Joined
Jan 31, 2014
Messages
991
Points
43
Location
Southern NH
Website
skikabbalah.com
My father-in-law once gave me some sage advice with regard to road biking but it is definitely analogous to skiing..."Don't get my wife (his daughter) a road bike because then you'll have to ride with her."

With that said my wife skis but is kind of what MMW described above, not wanting to push herself past her comfort level to get better. The terminal advanced intermediate. And, the family that skis together stays together. But, other than just getting out there with her and making turns, I'd hire a professional.
I have been surprised at how many of the 50+ day-a-season skiing crowd have non-skiing (or minimal skiing) spouses.
 

tekweezle

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2005
Messages
700
Points
0
Get your significant other lessons, preferably with other women her level. Go on the weekdays and let her ski as much or as little as they want. They will improve just skiing with each other at their own pace. Whatever you do, don't push her to go faster than she wants.

Sent from a Freedompop HTC Evo 4G
 

Smellytele

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2006
Messages
9,915
Points
113
Location
Right where I want to be
LOL... she practically kicks me out of the house to go skiing. Says winter is her favorite time of the year. Like I said she doesn't ski anymore.

My wife still skis but seems to need a little more nudging every year to get out there. She ends up skiing less than half the times I do now.
 

mister moose

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2007
Messages
1,086
Points
48
Get your significant other lessons, preferably with other women her level. Go on the weekdays and let her ski as much or as little as they want. They will improve just skiing with each other at their own pace. Whatever you do, don't push her to go faster than she wants.

This. If you want your wife to like skiing, ski with her. Don't expect her to ski with you, on your terrain, or even your compromise terrain. It needs to be fun for her. So if you can't stand easy blues, you need to find a way that she can, such as lessons and friends that ski at her level. Nothing wrong with pushing a little. It just needs to be a little.

I think many skiers need lessons on how to make it fun to ski with less skilled spouses, just as much as the spouse needs lessons to improve.
 
Last edited:
Top