PSA - get a living will no matter how healthy you think you are

[deadheadskier]

Sad week for my family. One of my closest cousins suffered a massive stroke on Monday. He was pretty healthy. Bit of a beer gut, but regular mountain biker (NEK trails was an annual pilgrimage for years), frequent kayaker too. Only 54

He was put into a medically induced coma very quickly after being admitted to Brigham and Women's. Had a couple of clots removed, but swelling continued to build. The Neurosurgeon met with my aunt yesterday and asked if he had a living will. He did not. It was explained that her choice was either he has a craniectomy or he would die within hours. With the craniectomy he'd live, but will never be the same again. The stroke caused irreparable damage.

My aunt is a devote Catholic and strongly believes you must always fight until Jesus takes you. She fought to keep my uncle with cancer alive for probably a year longer than she should have because of her beliefs. I don't agree with that belief system, but I also respect those who have such.

We don't know yet if he will survive, but if he does it's many weeks in the ICU followed by a long, long stay in an LTAC facility. I hate the word, but the potential of persisting in a vegetative state is a highly likely outcome. Slight potential for a better recovery, but will require constant nursing care for the rest of his life.

I can't speak for Jim, but given his love for being physically active outdoors like all of us here, I have to imagine he wouldn't want to live in such a way as he's going to. We may never know from here.

I'm 46. I have been putting off the living will thing. My understanding is it's pretty inexpensive to do with a service such as legal zoom. I just haven't gotten around to it. Very few people I'm friends with have a living will in their 40s.

Time to change that for me. No one likes catastrophe planning, but you just never know.

 

[Edd]

Really sorry about your cousin. I would not choose to live like that if I’m able to make the choice.

Do you know if he’s been previously diagnosed with high blood pressure? If so, was he on medication?

 

[abc]

Not sure a little living will can address your cousin’s situation.

I, on the other hand, had discussed at length of my wish with the person who will be making that decision. (And had the authority necessary, which is the living will is meant for)

 

[deadheadskier]

Not sure a little living will can address your cousin’s situation.

I, on the other hand, had discussed at length of my wish with the person who will be making that decision. (And had the authority necessary, which is the living will is meant for)

Even through tragedy, I knew I could count on insufferable ABC to come suck the air out of the room and try and argue a counter point.

Let me help you out and make you "sure."

An advance healthcare directive, also known as living will, personal directive, advance directive, medical directive or advance decision, is a legal document in which a person specifies what actions should be taken for their health if they are no longer able to make decisions for themselves because of illness or incapacity.

You clear now?

As for you "telling" someone your wishes, many people do. I've told my wife the same. There's no legal guarantee my or your wishes would be carried out. Plenty of scenarios could prevent that. That's the entire point of legally registering your wishes with a living will.

 

[deadheadskier]

Really sorry about your cousin. I would not choose to live like that if I’m able to make the choice.

Do you know if he’s been previously diagnosed with high blood pressure? If so, was he on medication?

Uncertain on prior health concerns or medication. High BP does run in the family. First relative I'm aware of to have a stroke like this though or even a heart attack on that side of the family. Folks have either lived long and died of natural causes or cancer.

 

[pinion]

There's no legal guarantee my or your wishes would be carried out. Plenty of scenarios could prevent that. That's the entire point of legally registering your wishes with a living will.

This, yes. Exactly.

Very sorry to hear about your cousin

 

[trackbiker]

Sorry to hear about your cousin, DHS.
A living will is a great recommendation. While on the topic, also have a regular will. My father was a funeral director and if he was still alive he could tell you some stories about what happens when people don't have a will. People would tell him, "Oh, our kids won't fight over anything." And he would tell them, "Maybe not. But their spouses might. If you don't want anyone to fight over anything, have a will."

 

[abc]

Even through tragedy, I knew I could count on insufferable ABC to come suck the air out of the room and try and argue a counter point.

When a "moderator" finds a participant insufferable, it's because he wants this "forum" to be his personal blog space, which he gets to tell everyone what he knows and no one dares to disagree with him!

Not quite as tragic in real life, but sucks the lifeblood of an online forum just the same.

 

[deadheadskier]

When a "moderator" finds a participant insufferable, it's because he wants this "forum" to be his personal blog space, which he gets to tell everyone what he knows and no one dares to disagree with him!

Not quite as tragic in real life, but sucks the lifeblood of an online forum just the same.

Lol no

You're repeatedly told by others as well that you are annoying as shit with literally 90% of your posts arguing something. In this case in the face of my family's personal tragedy. So you can fuck right off for that.

You were also wrong this time.

Do me a favor. Next time you get the urge to interact with me, just don't. Read my posts and move along. You can even put me in ignore if you like. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'll make it crystal clear. I do not like you. I find you an insufferable, annoying idiot. And now I question whether you just lack self awareness for your constant idiocy or if you're just a bad person. Find someone else to talk to. I'm not interested. If you constantly acted like this in a real life social setting, my message would be the same.

 

[jimk]

Thanks for the PSA. Sorry for your loss.

Probably should shut down this thread now.

 

[JimG.]

Thanks for the PSA. Sorry for your loss.

Probably should shut down this thread now.

Disagree. This is an important and worthwhile topic.

My wife and I both have our living will and last will and testament on file with our family attorney. In addition we have discussed these topics with our 3 sons and they are all on board with our decisions. And even with iron clad documentation you will often find that health care locations like nursing homes and hospitals will ignore these directives.

An example. My mom passed from Altzheimer's 10 years ago. She was pretty far gone and already had been in a nursing home for over a year. Her living will clearly spelled out that she did not want heroic measures undertaken if she went into life threatening distress. A week before she died I got a phone call at 2am in the morning that she was vomiting blood and had been transported to the hospital. When I arrived she was in ICU. All hooked up already. So I asked the doctor and social worker why she was in ICU. Didn't anyone read her living will? Stupid looks and nothing to say.

Now they want me to decide whether to pull the plug. That's what the living will was for, so I could avoid having to make this decision I said, then told them to do whatever they wanted but that I had nothing more to say. Told them nobody would be paying any bills either. Mom was weaned off the respirator and went back to the nursing home where she died a week later. That living will shielded me from having to make an impossible decision.

Living wills and last will and testaments are essential.