A question for the parents

[2knees]

Ok, I'm incapable both of ignoring the AZ timeout thread and taking it even remotely seriously. I wont get into the latter but the former is just my own curiosity.

but do you use timeouts with your kids? my wife does it all the time, i think too much. It has little affect on my kids overall behavior and at times, i think it actually makes it worse. I think i've put my kids in timeout all of about 4 times ever. Usually, i just knock them senseless if they get out of hand. (Kidding before someone complains). I really try to pick my battles and not get bent out of shape about every little thing. I think discipline can lose its effectiveness if its constantly thrown around.

what say you?

 

[SkiDork]

Ok, I'm incapable both of ignoring the AZ timeout thread and taking it even remotely seriously. I wont get into the latter but the former is just my own curiosity.

but do you use timeouts with your kids? my wife does it all the time, i think too much. It has little affect on my kids overall behavior and at times, i think it actually makes it worse. I think i've put my kids in timeout all of about 4 times ever. Usually, i just knock them senseless if they get out of hand. (Kidding before someone complains). I really try to pick my battles and not get bent out of shape about every little thing. I think discipline can lose its effectiveness if its constantly thrown around.

what say you?

That is certainly true.

How old are the kids?

We used timeout a number of years ago but as they get older it loses effectiveness.

Losing privileges that have been spelled out beforehand seems to work somewhat better...

 

[Warp Daddy]

IMO : Behavior must have MEANINGFUL maturity adjusted consequences that impact the child / adolescent / and even adult nonperformance in the work world . No consequences = chaos at worst or no change at best

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Since you're not allowed to hit kids anymore due to child abuse..a timeout seems like a good option..although when I was sent to my room as a kid..I just played my gameboy..I always used to get fined for swearing...between a quarter and a dollar since I always liked money..while I'm not a parent..I wasn't a kid that long ago..

 

[Marc]

My parents used these:

And look how good I turned out.

 

[campgottagopee]

I really don't get the "time out" thing---i mean i understand it, but don't see what good comes out of it. I/We don't have kids so maybe someone can explain. I do know when i was a kid there were no "time outs" just plain ole "hell 2 pay". My parents never hit any of us kids but man-o-man did we get the bare hand on the bare ass---gotta tell ya you knew when you'd done wrong in out house. Do parents "ground" kids anymore???

 

[wa-loaf]

Ok, I'm incapable both of ignoring the AZ timeout thread and taking it even remotely seriously. I wont get into the latter but the former is just my own curiosity.

but do you use timeouts with your kids? my wife does it all the time, i think too much. It has little affect on my kids overall behavior and at times, i think it actually makes it worse. I think i've put my kids in timeout all of about 4 times ever. Usually, i just knock them senseless if they get out of hand. (Kidding before someone complains). I really try to pick my battles and not get bent out of shape about every little thing. I think discipline can lose its effectiveness if its constantly thrown around.

what say you?

I use 1 2 3 Magic it's generally very effective. You don't sit there and count to three, rather each number is a warning. So whatever they are doing that you don't like you say "ONE" and if they keep it up you say "TWO" at three you just send them off to their room for a time out (without any discussion or reasoning). I'd say about 75% of the time I don't get to 3 anymore. It does take a learning curve on both sides.

 

[billski]

We have three kids, the oldest is 19 now. timeouts were used whenever physical violence occurred (i.e., punching your sister) and in a few other select cases. Other more "minor" infractions resulted in losing privs. This all expired by about age eight or nine depending on the kid, and now it's losing privs that are the most effective - TV, computer, video, going out, cell phone.
the issue largely is that as the enforcer, you're being "punished" too, because you have to hang around and monitor the punishment.

"off to their room" for a timeout is not generally helpful - they have interesting things to do there. Put them against a wall, must stay in that place. One minute per year of age. If they leave it, timer starts all over.

Our kids have turned out alright, thank God!

 

[drjeff]

5 and 1/2 year old and a 3 and 1/2 year old. Timeouts, when warranted are definately in play and for my 2 atleast are quite effective.

 

[2knees]

5 and 1/2 year old and a 3 and 1/2 year old. Timeouts, when warranted are definately in play and for my 2 atleast are quite effective.

yes, but you can threaten them with a root canal or something so a timeout is a walk in the park for your kids.

Hell, i'd just bust out one of those massive meat hooks you dentists like to prod our mouths with. Just showing that would get results!

 

[drjeff]

yes, but you can threaten them with a root canal or something so a timeout is a walk in the park for your kids.

Hell, i'd just bust out one of those massive meat hooks you dentists like to prod our mouths with. Just showing that would get results!

:lol: Unfortunately the main jist of what my kids know about what I do is "Daddy fixes people's teeth if they've had too much candy or soda"

I plan on using the root canal and/or "meat hook" threat for when my daughter's future boyfriends when she's a teen and starts dating

 

[wa-loaf]

I plan on using the root canal and/or "meat hook" threat for when my daughter's future boyfriends when she's a teen and starts dating

Ha Ha you can put a dentist chair in your living room or foyer and invite them to sit down and have a "chat" about your expectations before they head out.

 

[HD333]

I can't call them time outs becuase the word makes me sick but we do them with our 5 1/2 year old twins. They stand in the "naughty corner". There is one upstairs, one downstairs and one in each of the grandparents houses in the event we need it there.

Now that I typed it 'Naughty Corner" sounds pretty lame too!

Hey it works. We usually ask if they want to go in the naughty corner and that solves the issue.

I on the other hand was scared to death of my father for the first 21 or so years of my life. One time he was yelling at me and my little sister was crying, my mom asked her what was wrong. She said 'I think Dad is going to kill him" Now we are best friends.

 

[Beetlenut]

Time-outs are for the parents in my house! "I'm putting you in your room for your own safety, before I do something I'll regret". It works better for the parent than for the child. Gives me or my wife a chance to decompress. Granted we have to very high-energy boys who like to kill each other every chance they get. The only way I can see a time-out working for the child, is if you put them in an empty room. No games or "fun" things to do. It still works for my 6 yo, but my 11 yo is not too bothered by them. For him lack of privileges' is more effective.

 

[Warp Daddy]

I can't call them time outs becuase the word makes me sick but we do them with our 5 1/2 year old twins. They stand in the "naughty corner". There is one upstairs, one downstairs and one in each of the grandparents houses in the event we need it there.

Now that I typed it 'Naughty Corner" sounds pretty lame too!

Hey it works. We usually ask if they want to go in the naughty corner and that solves the issue.

That brought a smile to my face , sounds pretty familiar. When our children were tykes we used a "Crying Chair" that was in the corner - it worked, and soon they get the idea !

 

[dmc]

I used to get "the belt"..... I didn't act up much... When I did... I got smacked...
Even as a kid in Ohio... I'd get the "paddle" if i acted up...

Also got stuck in my room too... But i didn't have a TV.... just coloring books and stuff...

I also got praised and rewarded when i did what was asked of me.. Dad would let me shoot the gun if i was good... Mom would make me fried chicken...

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

No soda for a week was a pretty bad punishment..but once I hit 6th grade..there was a soda machine in school...I was never grounded because my parents wanted me to be out of the house..

 

[ComeBackMudPuddles]

I plan on using the root canal and/or "meat hook" threat for when my daughter's future boyfriends when she's a teen and starts dating

you're going to let your daughter date when she's a teenager? i'm trying hard not to judge, but my daughter (now 8 months old) is forbidden to date until she's at least 25.

 

[ComeBackMudPuddles]

for now, timeouts in my son's room work, both as a threat and a punishment, since he's only a little over three and hasn't learned that being in his room, while technically a punishment, means he can play with his toys.

some day i think we'll have to make more use of the corner of the hallway, though we surely won't call it the "naughty corner". lol. we'd use the hallway corner more often, but we end up hearing the crying a lot more if he's there instead of in his room....

 

[mondeo]

you're going to let your daughter date when she's a teenager? i'm trying hard not to judge, but my daughter (now 8 months old) is forbidden to date until she's at least 25.

If I ever have a daughter she's not dating until she's married.