Philpug
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(one of) Mine...
Homer: Marge, it takes two people ti lie, one to lie and the other to listen.
Homer: Marge, it takes two people ti lie, one to lie and the other to listen.
-
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Favorite Simpsons Lines
- Thread starter Philpug
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GrilledSteezeSandwich
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Don't have a cow man,,
Me fail English..that's unpossible..
Me fail English..that's unpossible..
Philpug
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that is one of my faves also
Homer: D'oh
Lisa: a deer
Bart: A female deer
(I think I have Bart and Lisa correct)
cbcbd
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Marge says: A female deer
Rainier Wolfcastle: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
Philpug
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wintersyndrome
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The Lollapalooza episode:
Lisa: "It Smells Like Ottos Jacket"
(it could have been Bart)
When Peter Frampton is Playing Guitar:
Lisa: "His Guitar sounds like its talking"
Otto: "my shoes look like their talking" (then we see them talking from his tripped out perspective---Classic)
Ralph Wigham Quotes
(with bart in the basement of the old psyco wards electroshock therapy room)
"It smells Like Hot Dogs"
"I saw principal Skinner and Miss Krabafal in the locker and they were making babies and the baby winked at me"
Lisa: "It Smells Like Ottos Jacket"
(it could have been Bart)
When Peter Frampton is Playing Guitar:
Lisa: "His Guitar sounds like its talking"
Otto: "my shoes look like their talking" (then we see them talking from his tripped out perspective---Classic)
Ralph Wigham Quotes
(with bart in the basement of the old psyco wards electroshock therapy room)
"It smells Like Hot Dogs"
"I saw principal Skinner and Miss Krabafal in the locker and they were making babies and the baby winked at me"
ckofer
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Barney: Wow, David Crosby, you're my hero!
Crosby: You like my music?
Barney: You're a musician?
Crosby: You like my music?
Barney: You're a musician?
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
roark
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Burns: 'Let the fools have their tar-tar sauce'
Hawkshot99
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Doh!!
Is that how it works over there at Seabrook?
MR. evil
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OH boy, Randi is a Simpson nut and I just told her about this thread. Expect a long post
I think this is my personal favorite. But there are so many to choose from. I had a ton of Simpson's sound bytes on my computer and they all were added to my iPod. Kinda funny to be in the car listening to tunes and all of a sudden you hear a Homer line.
All of these Ralph Wigum lines are great:
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!
Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
Ralph: I bent my wookie.
Classic!
Homer: Wait, I know: [types] vent gas.
[reads screen] "Pressure too high?"
"Tank must be shut down manually?"
[to drinking bird] Oh, stupid bird! I never should have put
you in charge! [strangles it a bit]
Oh, who am I kidding? It's all my fault! [the bird nods]
I've got to call the plant and warn them!
[grabs phone, but his fingers are too fat to dial one key at
a time]
Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a
special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm
now.
Homer: [screams] Aah!
Homer: Wait, I know: [types] vent gas.
[reads screen] "Pressure too high?"
"Tank must be shut down manually?"
[to drinking bird] Oh, stupid bird! I never should have put
you in charge! [strangles it a bit]
Oh, who am I kidding? It's all my fault! [the bird nods]
I've got to call the plant and warn them!
[grabs phone, but his fingers are too fat to dial one key at
a time]
Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a
special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm
now.
Homer: [screams] Aah!
MRGisevil
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Here are a few of my Homer favorites:
“Only rich executive guys like me can afford a hat like that. Wait a minute… I’m a guy like me!”
“Help me Jebus!”
“Jebus, is that you?!”
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
“Homer no function beer well without.”
“No TV and no beer make Homer something something… (go crazy?) don’t mind if I do!”
“To start press ‘any key’. Where’s the any key?”
“And that talking coyote must have just been that talking dog. (dog: follow your voice, Homer) Wait a minute, dogs can’t talk! (dog: woof woof) Damn right!”
“I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty and if its SPEED slowed down it would explode! I think it was called ‘The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”
“I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute, I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!”
“Operator, give me the number for 911!”
“Ha! Ha! Look at this country! You are gay? Ha ha!” (he means Uruguay)
“Dear Homer: IOU one emergency donut. Signed, Homer. Bastard! He’s always one step ahead!”
“When I first heard Marge was joining the police academy I thought it would be funny and zany, you know- like that movie… Spaceballs. Instead it was just dark and disturbing. Like that movie… Police Academy.”
“Don’t mess with the dead, boy. They have eerie powers.”
“All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you. Let’s just do this so I can go back to killing you with beer.”
“(TV: It’s ten o’clock at night. Do you know where your children are?) For the last time, NO! Hmmm… I wonder where Bart is. His dinner’s getting cold… and eaten.”
“I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”
“I’ll never get MY cummupins!”
“I’m a white male aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.”
“Me lose brain? Uh oh! Ha ha! Why I laugh?”
“Let’s all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”
“It’s like something out of that twighlighty show about that zone.”
“I know you can ready my thoughts, boy: meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.”
“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?”
“I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!”
“Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2% and its all because of my motivational techniques! Like donuts… and the possibility of more donuts to come.”
“Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.”
“Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.”
“The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!”
“Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
“Stealing, how could you? Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermony things at church? Captain what’s his name?”
“Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!”
“Let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one…”
“What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you??? Well, go ahead… do your worst!”
“Oh, Lisa. You and your stories. Bart’s a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now lets all go back to that…. Building… thingie… where our beds and TV.. Is.”
“Simpson, Homer Simpson! He’s the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield… he’s about to hit a chestnut tree! D’OH!”
“This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke! Lisa, get in here! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!!!”
A couple others for honorable mention:
Italian Chef:
“I make him a nice a-meal and he give it a bad review. So I put a horse a-head under his bed. He eat a-the head and give it a bad review!”
Mr. Burns:
“It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?”
Ralph:
“Tamales make my bottom burble.”
Troy McLure:
"Hi, I'm Troy McLure. You might remember me from "Christmas Ape" and "Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp."
“Only rich executive guys like me can afford a hat like that. Wait a minute… I’m a guy like me!”
“Help me Jebus!”
“Jebus, is that you?!”
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
“Homer no function beer well without.”
“No TV and no beer make Homer something something… (go crazy?) don’t mind if I do!”
“To start press ‘any key’. Where’s the any key?”
“And that talking coyote must have just been that talking dog. (dog: follow your voice, Homer) Wait a minute, dogs can’t talk! (dog: woof woof) Damn right!”
“I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty and if its SPEED slowed down it would explode! I think it was called ‘The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”
“I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute, I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!”
“Operator, give me the number for 911!”
“Ha! Ha! Look at this country! You are gay? Ha ha!” (he means Uruguay)
“Dear Homer: IOU one emergency donut. Signed, Homer. Bastard! He’s always one step ahead!”
“When I first heard Marge was joining the police academy I thought it would be funny and zany, you know- like that movie… Spaceballs. Instead it was just dark and disturbing. Like that movie… Police Academy.”
“Don’t mess with the dead, boy. They have eerie powers.”
“All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you. Let’s just do this so I can go back to killing you with beer.”
“(TV: It’s ten o’clock at night. Do you know where your children are?) For the last time, NO! Hmmm… I wonder where Bart is. His dinner’s getting cold… and eaten.”
“I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”
“I’ll never get MY cummupins!”
“I’m a white male aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.”
“Me lose brain? Uh oh! Ha ha! Why I laugh?”
“Let’s all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”
“It’s like something out of that twighlighty show about that zone.”
“I know you can ready my thoughts, boy: meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.”
“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?”
“I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!”
“Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2% and its all because of my motivational techniques! Like donuts… and the possibility of more donuts to come.”
“Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.”
“Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.”
“The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!”
“Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
“Stealing, how could you? Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermony things at church? Captain what’s his name?”
“Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!”
“Let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one…”
“What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you??? Well, go ahead… do your worst!”
“Oh, Lisa. You and your stories. Bart’s a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now lets all go back to that…. Building… thingie… where our beds and TV.. Is.”
“Simpson, Homer Simpson! He’s the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield… he’s about to hit a chestnut tree! D’OH!”
“This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke! Lisa, get in here! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!!!”
A couple others for honorable mention:
Italian Chef:
“I make him a nice a-meal and he give it a bad review. So I put a horse a-head under his bed. He eat a-the head and give it a bad review!”
Mr. Burns:
“It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?”
Ralph:
“Tamales make my bottom burble.”
Troy McLure:
"Hi, I'm Troy McLure. You might remember me from "Christmas Ape" and "Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp."
GrilledSteezeSandwich
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MRG is evil..wow all those off the top of your head..lol
MRGisevil
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oh that wasnt all... Believe me
MR. evil
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Yes they were, I was sitting next to her as she wrote them. She could easily rattle off 100 more. When ever we watch Simpsons re-runs shr blurts out most of the lines before they happen. One of my former co-wrokers (Mike) use to fancy himself as the king of Simpsons trivia and qoutes. He now bows down to Randi as his master.
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