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The biggest run-on paragraph you've ever seen

RootDKJ

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WOW. Found this on my healthclubs mb. :spin:

The title of the thread is: Complaint, workers stealing out of locker

My name is jesus fragoso. im really dissappointed about lifetime fitness. I go at night n the staff that work at night saw dat my card is cut in half and they said they ordered a new one like 3 different persons told me da same thing plus my last name is mispelled so i went in da morning in the customer service desk i took my id n told them my adress is da same so they said it might arrive like a week or more its been like 3 months already n i still havent got it. Second, there is this guy dat works at lifetime fitness he cleans da floors wit this green machine his name is JOSE LUIS he is skinny with black hair skin tone is light hes mexican hes there from 11 to 4 am he clean the salon da cafe the hallways n the two basketball courts ok there was this incident where 3 chinese guys accused him of stealing their locker key n opening their locker n took da money out of one of them wallet. Dis is how Jose Luis took the key, he was cleaning one basketball court and the 3 chinese guys were playing on the other side of the basketball court so when Jose Luis finished the court he was cleaning he told the chinese guys to go to the other one i guess they forgot that they had put their locker key on the floor so they just moved to the court dat was clean and Jose Luis saw da key cover it with a towel da small towels n acted like he was picking them up so he took advantage of the moment dat da chinese guys were playing went to da mens locker room open da locker n steal money from the wallet then went back n put da key in its place then the chinese guys i guess decided to leave n probably da guy whose locker room got open checked his wallet n was empty n obviously it had to be Jose Luis cause there was no one else on the basketball court but Jose luis on one cleaning n the chinese guys playing on the other side and Jose Luis is still working there he also stold like 3 ipods shoes everything he finds he gives it to his uncle who cleans da mens lockeroom his uncle has a bag n everytime he fills it with wat he finds n takes it home n they r still working there. Third i heard dis girl dat also works there got fired cause a women complaint that the girl put soap on her clothes she didnt even saw her n said it was da girl cause they supposedly argue n the girl was rude to the women thats no reason to suspect on someone even though u had an argue before the girl dat works there is also a member n lifetime fitness told her no to come over there for a month its unfair dat she got fired becasue she supposedly did dat n she didnt even saw da girl put soap on her clothes n Jose Luis is still there after the chinese guys said it was him theres even a police report n he didnt get fired. Also Gina and Erick are always playing around n at first gina was really nice but then all of a sudden it looks like she doesnt like mexicans casue one weeek passed n she made faces she look as if she was mad i think she didnt like my presence when i come u know how they greet u she would turn around like ignoring when it was her birthday she arrive like at 4 am she was very drunk i didnt complaint i figure someone might i think gina erick jose luis da cleaning guy they r always taking about people i notcie cause someone passes n they look at each other n start lauging also i think Jose Luis did get fired cause he gets along with gina n erick. one time i was parkin my car i saw gina n erick playing hitting each other with the towels n when i went inside two guys were playing basketball n hit the glass thats is on the ceiling obviously gina and erick didnt notice ccause they were to busy flirting and playing they didnt notice until another guy dat works there told them they should pay attention on their job instead of defending some workers cause they get along n firing others cause someone accused them. i wonder if the girl would of done da same as Jose luis blame a member would she still kep her job like Jose luis. i dont think gina is a good person naot for the members not only i am complaining about her n the stealing employee i heard two people cancel their membership not because of firing da girl but becasue they r being unfair
 

drjeff

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Thanks Root, my head is now spinning and I feel like I just had a massive caffiene shot :rolleyes:
 

mondeo

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Can somebody translate it?

Honestly, at some point I just give up reading stuff written with complete lack of respect for grammar. I just can't do it.
 

severine

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Can somebody translate it?

Honestly, at some point I just give up reading stuff written with complete lack of respect for grammar. I just can't do it.
I think it's more that Jesus is not a native speaker. His spellings are often phonetic, or at least the way people often speak the language (instead of the way it is written). That's how it looks from a linguistics perspective...

Jesus sounds like a bit of a gossip. :lol:
 

MRGisevil

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I think it's more that Jesus is not a native speaker. His spellings are often phonetic, or at least the way people often speak the language (instead of the way it is written). That's how it looks from a linguistics perspective...

Jesus sounds like a bit of a gossip. :lol:

I guess you've never played world of warcraft, lol.
 

RootDKJ

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Since most of us have nothing better to do for the next 6 months, I'll post this. The original poster has gone back and edited his post in include some paragraphs. It's still not an easy read

here's the revised version
My name is jesus fragoso. im really dissappointed about lifetime fitness the one dat is located at Schaumburg on higgins Rd.

I go at night n the staff that work at night saw dat my card is cut in half and they said they ordered a new one like 3 different persons told me da same thing plus my last name is mispelled so i went in da morning in the customer service desk i took my id n told them my adress is da same so they said it might arrive like a week or more its been like 3 months already n i still havent got it.

Second, there is this guy dat works at lifetime fitness on schaumburg he cleans da floors wit this green machine his name is JOSE LUIS he is skinny with black hair skin tone is light hes mexican hes there from 11 to 4 am he cleans the salon da cafe the hallways n the two basketball courts.

ok there was this incident where 3 chinese guys accused him of stealing their
locker key n opening their locker n took da money out of one of them wallet. Dis
is how Jose Luis took the key, he was cleaning one basketball court and the 3 chinese guys were playing on the other side of the basketball court so when Jose Luis finished the court he was cleaning he told the chinese guys to go to the other one i guess they forgot that they had put their locker key on the floor so they just moved to the court dat was clean and Jose Luis saw da key cover it with a towel da small towels n acted like he was picking them up so he took advantage of the moment dat da chinese guys were playing went to da mens locker room open da locker n steal money from the wallet then went back n put da key in its place then the chinese guys i guess decided to leave n probably da guy whose locker room got open checked his wallet n was empty n obviously it had to be Jose Luis cause there was no one else on the basketball court but Jose luis on one cleaning n the chinese guys playing on the other side and Jose Luis is still working there he also stold like 3 ipods shoes everything he finds he gives it to his uncle who cleans da mens lockeroom his uncle has a bag n everytime he fills it with wat he finds n takes it home n they r still working there.

Third i heard dis girl dat also works there got fired cause a women complaint that the girl put soap on her clothes she didnt even saw her n said it was da girl cause they supposedly argue n the girl was rude to the women thats no reason to suspect on someone even though u had an argue before the girl dat works there is also a member n lifetime fitness told her no to come over there for a month its unfair dat she got fired becasue she supposedly did dat n she didnt even saw da girl put soap on her clothes n Jose Luis is still there after the chinese guys said it was him theres even a police report n he didnt get fired.

Also Gina and Erick they work at lifetime fiotness in Schaumburg are always playing around n at first gina was really nice but then all of a sudden it looks like she doesnt like mexicans casue one weeek passed n she made faces she look as if she was mad i think she didnt like my presence when i come u know how they greet u she would turn around like ignoring when it was her birthday she arrive like at 4 am she was very drunk i didnt complaint i figure someone might i think gina erick jose luis da cleaning guy they r always talking about people, i notice cause someone passes n they look at each other n start lauging also i think Jose Luis did get fired cause he gets along with gina n erick.

one time i was parkin my car i saw gina n erick playing hitting each other with the towels n when i went inside two guys were playing basketball n hit the glass thats is on the ceiling obviously gina and erick didnt notice ccause they were to busy flirting and playing they didnt notice until another guy dat works there told them they should pay attention on their job instead of defending some workers cause they get along n firing others cause someone accused them. i wonder if the girl would of done da same as Jose luis blame a member would she still kep her job like Jose luis. i dont think gina is a good person not for the members not only i am complaining about her n the stealing employee i heard two people cancel their membership not because of firing da girl but becasue they r being unfair
 
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