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The Man Rules

severine

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A friend forwarded this to me this morning and it made me think of all the men in my life... ;)

The Man Rules*******************

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear ' the rules '!
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE! !

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it
will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh!
 
Last edited:

dmc

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A sure way to impress a girl is to pull over and ask for directions on a first date... Weather you need to or not...
And have a clean apartment...
 

ComeBackMudPuddles

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A few additional ones from the internets:

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss' car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
- When she is using her teeth.​
 

Paul

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1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

Gonna spray-paint this one on the Living Room wall.
 

bvibert

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I've seen that list before, actually I think you sent it to me...

It's ALL true, but that's just the start...
 

drjeff

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One more - If a man says he's not thinking about anything, he probably isn't thinking about anything(unless of course it's been 3.2 seconds since he last thought about sex)
 

ctenidae

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1) "I thought you were talking to the dog" is a perfectly valid excuse for not listening.

Now, go fix me a turkey pot pie.
 

drjeff

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Expecting any STRAIGHT guy to do anything non football related after noontime on Superbowl Sunday (If a woman is lucky we might even acknowledge you once kickoff has happened)
 

Paul

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I see we have a lot of chauvinist pigs on this forum.








;)

CAFO_hogs.jpg

Eh... I'm okay with that...
 
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