Ski and Snowboarding Jokes

[gmcunni]

7) how many ski schoolers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to turn the bulb while the other says “nice turns!”

6) three snowboarders are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving?

The police.

5) what’s the difference between a cactus and a ski school jacket?

With the cactus… the prick is on the outside.

4) how do snowboarders introduce themselves?

“sorry dude”

3) what is the difference between god and a ski schooler?

God doesn’t think he’s a ski schooler…

2) what’s the difference between a ski bum and a pizza?

The pizza can actually feed a family of four

1) why do lifties only have 30 minute long breaks?

Because if they were any longer, you’d have to re-train them.

 

[ss20]

3) what is the difference between god and a ski schooler?

God doesn’t think he’s a ski schooler…

Yep. Used that one before.

 

[Whitey]

What do you say to a snowboarder in a jacket & tie?

"Will the defendant please rise"

 

[SIKSKIER]

For the resorts with prostitutes.
Whats the best part about about a prostitute dying on you?
The second hour is free.

 

[Freezingupnorth]

What do you call a pair of ski instructors on parabolic skis?

Pair of Ball lickers.

 

[Mapnut]

Oooo, another ski thread is going downhill.

 

[Mapnut]

Not sure what decency standards should apply here, but this is on the safe side:

It was a great powder day at Magic Mountain, but it just kept snowing harder and harder. At the end of the day three men (substitute your favorite 3 Magic skiers here) decided it wasn't safe to drive home, so they looked for a room in (______) Lodge. There was only one room with one bed. They agreed to share it.

When they woke up in the morning, the skier who had slept on the left side of the bed said, "That was weird. I dreamed someone was ______ __ _ ____ ___."

The skier on the right side of the bed said, "I had the exact same dream!"

The skier in the middle said, "I just dreamed I was skiing."

 

[Winterstick]

Not sure what decency standards should apply here, but this is on the safe side:

It was a great powder day at Magic Mountain, but it just kept snowing harder and harder. At the end of the day three men (substitute your favorite 3 Magic skiers here) decided it wasn't safe to drive home, so they looked for a room in (______) Lodge. There was only one room with one bed. They agreed to share it.

When they woke up in the morning, the skier who had slept on the left side of the bed said, "That was weird. I dreamed someone was ______ __ _ ____ ___."

The skier on the right side of the bed said, "I had the exact same dream!"

The skier in the middle said, "I just dreamed I was skiing."

I can tell you what the decency standards are for this site. I posted the exact same joke a few nights ago, but filled in the blank lines. I also personalized the joke to include Cannonball, C-Rex, and troy due to their blatantly negative comments towards gays.

My joke was removed in the morning.

So obviously its fine to post jokes derogatory to gays and about having sex with dead prostitutes, but posting responses against those posters is not alright.

Its 11:10 pm now. Lets see if this post is still here in the morning.

 

[ThinkSnow]

Oooo, another ski thread is going downhill.

I think threads on this site are supposed to go downhill

It's all about skiing after all....

 

[gmcunni]

Its 11:10 pm now. Lets see if this post is still here in the morning.

1 am. Still up