You might be a Gaper if

[hardline]

Brian and I noticed the ultimate display of face mask gaperness on Friday at Hunter. The temps were probably in the forties with no wind and we saw a kid (as in late teens, early 20's) donning the face mask, but as if that wasn't enough - he had no head gear on at all to boot! No hat, no helmet. :blink: But by golly, he just had to have that face mask on! :lol:

i rode the lift a MC with a girl and her boyfriend this spring and pointed out the the boyfriend that it was like 45 out and why was his GF have on a face mask. we all laughed and she quickly took it off.

 

[hardline]

any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.

 

[eastcoastpowderhound]

any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.

or on piste...piste in general ought to be banned from north american skiing. call it a slope, a run, trail, groomer, whatever...anything but piste...unless you want to sound like a pretentious snot-bag

 

[hardline]

or on piste...piste in general ought to be banned from north american skiing. call it a slope, a run, trail, groomer, whatever...anything but piste...unless you want to sound like a pretentious snot-bag

fully agree. its almost as bad as someone saying binders. they are binding's.

 

[eastcoastpowderhound]

fully agree. its almost as bad as someone saying binders. they are binding's.

binders used to piss me off, now it only slightly annoys me...but piste on the other hand, just sounds worse every time I hear it.:uzi:

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

any north american that uses the term " i ski off-piste". its called slack/side country or out of bounds.

I like calling things off-piste...If you ski off-piste at Blue mountain the ski patrollers will be piste-off..lol

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Gaper - A beginner skier or snowboarder who has no clue as to what they're doing on the mountain, but they don't know it. They crash all over the place and get in your way. Refered to as a gaper because of the gap between their hat and goggles, also known as a gaper-gap.

So anyways, you might be a gaper if:

#1. You do the Gaper Tuck. Hands tight to the chest, bend at the waist, just a little bend at the knees and stick your poles almost straight up. (I've seen it 1,000 times, but it always makes me smile).:grin:

We call that a turkey tuck..and it's contagious...once one gaper does a turkey tuck..others follow suit..

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

#8 You carry your skis from the lot by cradling them like a baby...

or holding them like a guitar..

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

#14 - You have every lift ticket you ever purchased attached to your jacket.

I just keep a seasons worth

#15. The only way to ski an expert run is by straightlining it.

A PA expert run...

Ahh.....could you guys number your posts please. :-?

he was anal in 2005 as well..lol

#20 - You don't number your posts

true

#34 You go in for lunch at noon.

people eat lunch at noon..lol

Hey did I ever show you guys this picture of Freeheelwilly and his girlfriend outside the lodge at Whiteface? You can't see their faces, but you'll get the idea.

ahahahaha

 

[Greg]

I just keep a seasons worth

Please tell me you're kidding...

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Please tell me you're kidding...

Well half kidding..I start the season off with no tickets..but I usually keep a few from early season trips....then I usually keep my Jackson Hole ticket on my jacket..I'm guessing my jacket currently has 3-4 tickets on it from Vermont..

But back in the day..I would keep like 2-3 years worth of tickets on my jacket..

 

[eastcoastpowderhound]

Well half kidding..I start the season off with no tickets..but I usually keep a few from early season trips....then I usually keep my Jackson Hole ticket on my jacket..I'm guessing my jacket currently has 3-4 tickets on it from Vermont..

But back in the day..I would keep like 2-3 years worth of tickets on my jacket..

closet gaper

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

closet gaper

Duh...

On the really crowded holidays when it's 80% gapers at Blue mountain..I do my best to blend in and become a gaper..by working on my turkey tuck, asking where they keep the moguls in the summer...and hessitating on a PA headwall..

 

[eastcoastpowderhound]

Duh...

On the really crowded holidays when it's 80% gapers at Blue mountain..I do my best to blend in and become a gaper..by working on my turkey tuck, asking where they keep the moguls in the summer...and hessitating on a PA headwall..

sort of like the pied piper of gapers? Or a wolf in gaper clothing?

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

sort of like the pied piper of gapers? Or a wolf in gaper clothing?

totally...Or when I'm riding the lift...I nervously ask my chairmates.."Does this thing go to the top?"..lol

To get to know gapers..you need to blend in with them and become a gaper...gapers are very accepting of other gapers and are quick to teach wannabe gapers their gaper ways...just don't drink the Kool-Aid..I swear the gapers are in some kind of cult..lol

Heavens Gate chairlift...Heavens Gate cult...coincidence..red light..green light..have you ever seen the back of a $20 bill.....on weed....there's a man in the bushes and he's got a gun..

 

[dmc]

But back in the day..I would keep like 2-3 years worth of tickets on my jacket..

Even in my worst day glow, cookie duster, fannypack days - I never kept more then one ticket on...

Whats worse is pins.. Not such a bad thing for old folks.. But - pins on your hat.. is not cool.. just sayin...

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Even in my worst day glow, cookie duster, fannypack days - I never kept more then one ticket on...

Whats worse is pins.. Not such a bad thing for old folks.. But - pins on your hat.. is not cool.. just sayin...

Every year on the flight from Chicago to Jackson Hole..there's always at least one old lady decked out in a vest with pins from dozens of ski areas...

There are also people on the plane wearing a turtleneck, sweater, and shell jacket...planes are hot like a sauna...I usually sweat in a t-shirt...and these people are three layer players..then they get off the 80 degree plane into 3 degree air and they freeze..doh..

 

[dmc]

Every year on the flight from Chicago to Jackson Hole..there's always at least one old lady decked out in a vest with pins from dozens of ski areas...

Texans... Many gapers on that demographic...

 

[drjeff]

Even in my worst day glow, cookie duster, fannypack days - I never kept more then one ticket on...

Whats worse is pins.. Not such a bad thing for old folks.. But - pins on your hat.. is not cool.. just sayin...

Oh boy, back in the late 80's, I was sooooo cool with my collection of Nastar pins all over the collar of my neon CB jacket! Instead of keeping a stash of lift tickets on my coat so everyone could see where I'd skied, I just kept the Nastar pins with all the different areas on my coat!

 

[eastcoastpowderhound]

Oh boy, back in the late 80's, I was sooooo cool with my collection of Nastar pins all over the collar of my neon CB jacket! Instead of keeping a stash of lift tickets on my coat so everyone could see where I'd skied, I just kept the Nastar pins with all the different areas on my coat!

I prob had that same CB jacket...but I kept my pins on my bball hat...and used to wear the bball hat skiing...backwards of course...stretch pants, rossi 4Ms... I was so cooool :roll: Wish I still had the jacket for some 80s flashback days in the spring!