Sibling feud question....

[deadheadskier]

Arguments among brothers and sisters obviously happen, but I fully believe no matter what you always love your family. That said, sometimes things go a bit too far. Without getting into too many details, my brother's behavior was so outrageous last night, involving a physical confrontation of which I don't believe in with family and he was pushing for, that I ended it with the statement, "Go to bed, pack up your things in the morning and I don't want to see or talk to you for six months."

I love my brother, but I honestly still feel this way the next day after I've processed everything that went down.


So, my question is, following a severe altercation with a sibling, what's the longest you've gone without speaking to let the dust settle? Mind you, though we've had scattered instances over the years, nothing even comes close to last night and this is unchartered territory for me, so I'm seeking the opinion of others.

 

[ctenidae]

I've never had anyting go that far, but my mother hasn't spoken to her sister in close to 10 years, or her mother for about that.

We're a real tight family group.

 

[Sexkitten]

My sister and I had a terrible fight a few years ago that ended with insults and tears. I went a week before I broke down and called her. She told me she had her husband hide the phone so she wouldn't be the first to call and apologize. What a bitch! Haha.

Really, when I took the time to think about the whole fight I kept going back to what my Mother always said..."I may not always like you but I'll always love you and that's OK". Ugh. Good luck BTW.

 

[deadheadskier]

I've never had anyting go that far, but my mother hasn't spoken to her sister in close to 10 years, or her mother for about that.

We're a real tight family group.

10 years? wow I couldn't imagine what would trigger that. The longest it has been with my brother and I was a month and that was due to a feud he had with our father that I found particularly disrespectful.

 

[Paul]

I was estranged from my folks and brother for over a year.

Things happen.

 

[o3jeff]

Not worth holding grudges. God forbid if something happens to them and you didn't clear things up, it would be hard to live with it.

 

[deadheadskier]

Not worth holding grudges. God forbid if something happens to them and you didn't clear things up, it would be hard to live with it.

I hear ya and would hate for that to happen. However, my concern is that 'caving' will result in him thinking that such behavior is tolerated by me, which it isn't. Seriously, it was pretty bad. I'm far from the violent type, haven't had a physical altercation in nearly ten years and that was in defense of a woman, but had what happened came from anyone else last night......

 

[playoutside]

I'm one of 6 kids and none of us has ever had big fights and long separations. It might be because of my mother's dysfunctional family and their feuds. We've witnessed them bicker, battle, berate and ignore for too many years. They can always bring it back to when they were much younger and crap that has festered. I think we all look at it and say we don't want to still be acting that way when we are in our 60s and 70s.

Not sure about your situation, but don't let it go on as long as 6 months. Was alcohol involved? It makes us all pretty stupid sometimes. Life is very short, crap happens to people and you don't want to be separated when something awful comes your or your brother's way. Find some way besides silence (or violence) to convey your anger about the situation. And then make up and move on.

 

[Marc]

I know a guy with a big black Lincoln.... is that where you going with this?

 

[Hawkshot99]

Me and my sister do not get along in the slightest.

She moved home 2 weeks ago, and i have yet to speak to her. Easiest way to not fight. When I move out on my own I will never call her.

 

[MRGisevil]

I have a sister I haven't spoken to in seven years. Dust will not be settling any time soon.

 

[wa-loaf]

My mother and her sister often go 6 months to a year without talking when they get mad at each other.

 

[ckofer]

Let it cool a month and send your brother a kind, thoughtful letter.

 

[deadheadskier]

Let it cool a month and send your brother a kind, thoughtful letter.

I would and have done this in the past, but a pattern of not changing on his part becomes more apparent with each blow up. I'm not sure that taking such an approach again will result in changed behavior in the future. My concern is that it has gotten worse despite taking the high road in the past.

 

[dmc]

This is all foreign to me.. I can't fathom something that my family would do to make me turn my back on them...

I love my family... My sister and i don't get along politically... She's a Sheeple Soccer/Security Mom.

But other then that... I love my family..

I feel bad for people missing family with the limited days we have on this earth..

 

[Philpug]

I have a sister I haven't spoken to in seven years. Dust will not be settling any time soon.

Nor will mine.


Jut because you are related, doesn't mean you have to like them. I avoid my side of our family a much as I can. I talk to my mother a couple of times a year, My sister and I don't talk at all and my bother and I have little or nothing in common. Now my in-laws..they are some of our best friends talk almost daily.

 

[Greg]

This is all foreign to me.. I can't fathom something that my family would do to make me turn my back on them...

I love my family... My sister and i don't get along politically... She's a Sheeple Soccer/Security Mom.

But other then that... I love my family..

I feel bad for people missing family with the limited days we have on this earth..

Same here. Some pretty wild stories here. I get along great with my sister and brother, although they are both quite a bit older than me so maybe there's less "competition". I get along pretty well with their spouses too. I also get along with my wife's siblings and their spouses as well as my 'rents-in-law. One big happy family, I guess.

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

I think it's unhealthy to hold grudges with family members...I took a Sociology of the Family class in college and there was alot of talk about sibling rivalry and birth order. Despite enjoying internet flame wars...I've always gotten along with all of my relatives.

 

[MRGisevil]

Nor will mine.


Jut because you are related, doesn't mean you have to like them. I avoid my side of our family a much as I can. I talk to my mother a couple of times a year, My sister and I don't talk at all and my bother and I have little or nothing in common. Now my in-laws..they are some of our best friends talk almost daily.

Right on! I'm pretty much the exact same way with my family and Tim's. I consider his sister much more of a sis to me than mine ever was.

 

[Marc]

Right on! I'm pretty much the exact same way with my family and Tim's. I consider his sister much more of a sis to me than mine ever was.

Yeah but women are a lot better at holding grudges than men are too. Maybe has something to do with memory. Meredith remembers almost every detail of like the first ten dates we went on a year and a half ago.

I consider myself to be doing well if I remember to put on pants in the morning.