Dope-slap things I have done when skiing

hammer said:

Did you finish the run?

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I did.

First days are bad for me. Each year I forget something different. One year it was boots - fixed that with a boot bag. Another time it was poles - the area was nice enough to lend me a pair free. The best was getting all the way up to Jay on a very windy night and discovering the next morning, after putting on all my thermal layers, that I had left my ski pants at home. With wind chills running in the -20's I wasn't about to ski in jeans. Oh yeah, forgot my parka too.

Skied for an hour once and something just didn't feel right. Just could not control the skis and could not figure out what the problem was. Eventually figured out that I left my cat tracks attached to my boots! :lol: For some reason the boots didn't pop out of the bindings even after doing a few runs...:-o

This happened recently.....

Was at winter park, they were training all the lifties so there were like 10 or 15 by the control panel for the arrow FG triple. There was also a blind skier and his guide in front of me. The lift was running half speed due to something that must have happened at the top, but the two people in front of me were waiting for the chair to come around, and I had a complete brainfart and waiting halfway between the loading line and the waiting line, and the guide turns around and is like "uhhh you might want to back up". Thankfully due to the chair running half speed I had time.

The one liftie who's training the rest of the lifties says that you can tell the skiers to wait behind the line, and me in my smart-ass, self-depreciating humor says "or you can say "What are you" and I'm just about to say "blind" but seeing as the blind skier and guide are on the first chair infront of me this would be in poor taste, I quickly say "stupid." Almost proved my point there.

OK that story sucked I know

I did forget to add that my first few days using an AT boot, Scarpa's original Laser...back in ~04, more than a few times I totally forgot to lock back into ski-mode. At the top it would be "man, these skis are really running.." and half way down...as I'm picking my butt back up over my feet..."man, my skiing's really improving.."...lol.

My first trip to the West, Colorado I didn't realize you had to schedule the shuttles ahead of time, so I ended up taking a cab from airport to Vail with 1 other person, my birthday money paid for that but an expensive commute. No sun block with me when I came back my face was refer then a lobster for days.

One day at Jay, I'm like Wow that one ski will not catch an edge. Then I'm like Wtf why is that one tip starring me? Well it wasn't making contact with the snow, because the ski was BROKEN right in front of the toe piece of the binding! Can only guess where that happened... Luckily I had enough disposal income to rent a pair of Fatties so my brothers and I could rip the face chutes later that day ;-)

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Skied with "Crank"



But seriously; I've done many stupid things in my day, but am still here
to say I am still alive.

Was too warm on a late afternoon in April at Loon and decided to wear my favorite baseball cap instead of my beanie. (My hair is un-viewable after wearing a helmet or beanie, so I had to do something!) The reason you never see baseball caps on the slopes became readily apparent in short order. It started to fly off, I crashed trying to hold it on and the legally blind student skiier with his instructor chased it down for me. So much wounded pride.

i've lost a glove, forgotten gloves etc. my wife forgot her coat once. but the worst was when i got so excited to try out a new board i forgot to take off the huge sticker/spec sheet on the bottom of it, d'oh.

edit.... convinced my friend the backside of sunday river was awesome untracked pow. turns out it was pow to nothing underneath, no base, and a very strenuous hike back up.

double edit....forgot my wallet on the way up to bretton woods, had to turn around at the gunstock exit so a 3hr trip turns into a 5hr trip, coulda went to jay peak for the amount of drive time for that one.

I inadvertently skied off the wrong side of mt Ellen with a friend and our 10 year old sons into deep deep powder. Did about 300 vertical before I recognized the error and another 500 before I could get the rest to stop. Ended up climbing, actually crawling would be the better description, through waist deep powder to get back to the top. It took 2 hours of some serious sweating.
lessons learned-if you don't really know where you are and you see beautiful untouched deep powder, there may be a reason it's untouched.
also, kids learned to always be prepared with drinks and power bars.

Last year, the one day Burke got more than 3" of snow in March I ran up there to try to get first chair. I'd skied the afternoon before so I left my gloves and goggles at home drying next to the heater. Realized this at the car when I parked, so I said screw it, I'll just ski without them for a run or two and suck it up. Luckily the liftie had some spares in the shack that he let me use for a few runs.

At Smuggs back a while ago, was skiing down Drifter and another group comes down and goes by me. Some guy sees some bamboo ahead shaped like this /\ and figures he'll ski through it. SPLASH.

Not mine but I'm the one with the last laugh:

Telluride, with the Diamond Dog gang (New York City). A whole bunch of type-A personality on skis if you don't know.

I scouted out a patch of woods from the chair and skied several different lines through it for the first couple days. Then, it snowed. Just 4-5 inches. Though in the edge of woods, the drift can get up to nearly a foot (or more). So I went with a friend towards that patch of woods. A few on the chair behind us followed us in, without me realizing it.

I stopped my friend at a clearing to point out a landmark she has to turn right to get out of the woods if she doesn't want to get stuck with no exit. The group behind us went up, saw the prestine powder in front of us and decided to steal it from us by dropping in without saying hi (or ask why we stopped and leave all that powder).

Ok, they stole our powder alright. But on our way up the chair THE SECOND TIME, we saw them slogging through knee/thigh deep drift looking furlongly at the top of a small rise they need to get over! And the lone boarder in the group was on her belly a good 50 yards behind!

...

I've gotten stuck a few times skiing in unknown places. Once I dropped down some nice untouched powder line in Kirkwood. Saw a sign and decided to change my line just to see what the sign said... "Caution: Cliff Area!"!!! Had to side step back up a good 50'...

But never going ahead of a party stopping above a powder field. They stopped for a reason, and I want to know what that reason is.

I've done the hat, gloves, goggles thing a couple of times. I keep all our stuff in one bag, forget the bag & you've forgotten them all. Once we went to K & I realized I left the bag home in NYC. Thank god for Lindholmes in Rutland where I was able to buy hats, gloves & goggles for my wife, daughter & myself relatively inexpensively. Still have those to this day as spares. To buy on the mountain would've cost twice as much. The store is no longer there unfortunately.

Another time we were driving to Sugarloaf from NYC. About an hour 1/2 into the drive I realized I left the bag home again. Had to turn around & go home & get it. Added 3 hrs to what was already a long drive from NYC.

Forgotten my boots several times at the house in VT. after leaving for skiing for the day. I bring them in at night to keep them warm. Fortunately on all occasions I was skiing locally at Killington or Pico so it wasn't a long drive back to the house to get them.

Lost a pair of brand new down mittens at MRG one day after leaving them on the roof of the car when I left. Went back to the shop where i bought them the next day to buy another pair. The guy remembered me & said didn't you just buy the same gloves yesterday? After explaining what happened he gave me a nice discount on the second set.

One time I left my ski jacket at the house & didn't realize it until after driving an hour to Sugarbush. Fortunately I had another jacket in the car but it was my regular winter jacket I wear in the city, not really designed for skiing. The problem was I had a voucher for a ticket that was already paid for in my ski jacket I left at the house. As it wound up my friend had an extra voucher which he let me use & I gave him mine when we got back. It could've wound up much worse.

I'm pretty forgetful so I check and double check that I have the boot bag which have all my other stuff in it.

Skis are so big it's really hard to miss (or hard to NOT MISS). So I thought I would never forget to take them along. Well, I did, once!

My Mom teased me when I was a (forgetful) kid "If your brain isn't attach to your torso, I bet you would forget to bring that too!". Well, Mom, you've been right all along!

A number of years ago, I was skiing the Chute at Tucks. I ripped down the headwall, skied it textbook perfect, and I was totally stoked, so I opened it up and got going hard as I came into the open bowl. Thing is, distances are tricky in such a wide open space like that. The huge mogul I thought was far away was a medium sized mogul real close. By the time I realized that, I hit it, tried to pole plant, and smashed my face with the butt of the pole handle. Ripped open my eyebrow. Had to ski the whole Sherburne with blood running into my eyes. Still have the scar.

abc said:

........I've gotten stuck a few times skiing in unknown places. Once I dropped down some nice untouched powder line in Kirkwood. Saw a sign and decided to change my line just to see what the sign said... "Caution: Cliff Area!"!!!......

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Ahhh, a once-in-a-while nightmare of mine.....Always gets me out of a deep sleep....:roll:

That depth-thing freeski919....those elongated rocks in steep chutes, so many times I just see the bottom edges of em', especially on the rockpile edges of smaller mtns up here...off in the BC.

Got hit by the chair at Sunday River warm spring day. Knocked out of my skis and fell face first into the mud.

Answered my cell phone.