Dope-slap things I have done when skiing

At opening day at Windham a couple years ago me and a friend pull up to the Wheelchair lift (a mid mountain chair) to no line. Seeing no line, I yell out to my buddy to book it to get onto the chairlift and try to beat the incoming chair. Without even stopping, we make a turn with some momentum from the slope we just came down and roll into the loading queue. At the same time, however, the chair comes flying around with some serious velocity. This chair continues then to bowl us over in dramatic fashion as we are no where near where we are supposed to load the chair. The lifty stops the chair, we dust off our lost pride, hide our faces, and say thank you as we load on to the following chair to the lifty and our friend's laughter.

Hit a death cookie at Gore on Echo's headwall and did a few somersaults down the hill. Completely sober, as well.

My son skied with one of our cat's toys in his boot. Skied all day with it in his boot.

quiglam1 said:

My son skied with one of our cat's toys in his boot. Skied all day with it in his boot.

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How was the cat after that.?

Not sure if this has ever happen to anyone, but we were skiing with a group at Jay Peak and tried to be in a hurry to catch the next chair on Flyer. We all got through the RFID gate at different times so while regrouping waiting for the chair some of us got trigger happy and tried to catch a chair and half of us committed and the other half were frozen. Everyone tried to catch up or go back and they had to stop a detachable quad- embarrassing! Lesson learned don't rush things!

There were no beginners in the group!

Been in groups guilty of watching loading situations that somehow luckily work themselves out in the final seconds without the lift stopping. Unfortunately since we were distracted watching, we missed our chair.

On a wimpy inlet to an intermediate trail at Waterville Valley, on the flats - take two slow awkward slow speed turns without any momentum. Face plant breaking my sunglasses (late 80s) at the hinge causing some blood and half an egg on my face.

Also somehow, even at slow speeds, I did a pretty good yard sale. Hat, poles, even gloves inexplicably were 10 yards down the trail from me.

Also w/the sunglasses being the late 80s was a corduroy baseball cap which we thought was cool(*). Someone earlier in the post mentioned baseball caps flying off. That's why we were even cooler and had tghe leashes on our glasses laced through the hat.

* = sarcasm

Well this seems to be a good year for having brain lapses. This isn't skiing related, but close. I woke up to about 14 inches of snow this morning, and I shoveled out all the dog kennels and then used the ATV to plow the driveway. An hour later I realized my iphone was missing. It was -2F outside too so I was afraid my phone would freeze if it was on top of the snow vs inside the snow bank.

Thankfully I have an otter box case that can stand up the my negligence and completely covers it and protects it from the elements. I used find my iPhone to give me a rough idea where it was, but it must had shut off afterwords so it didn't play its locator tone. I grabbed a small shovel and used the opposite end of it as an avalanche probe to look through a 3 foot snowbank. After 20 minutes, I found it and it works fine!

skiNEwhere said:

Well this seems to be a good year for having brain lapses. This isn't skiing related, but close. I woke up to about 14 inches of snow this morning, and I shoveled out all the dog kennels and then used the ATV to plow the driveway. An hour later I realized my iphone was missing. It was -2F outside too so I was afraid my phone would freeze if it was on top of the snow vs inside the snow bank.

Thankfully I have an otter box case that can stand up the my negligence and completely covers it and protects it from the elements. I used find my iPhone to give me a rough idea where it was, but it must had shut off afterwords so it didn't play its locator tone. I grabbed a small shovel and used the opposite end of it as an avalanche probe to look through a 3 foot snowbank. After 20 minutes, I found it and it works fine!

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How come you weren't enjoying powder turns?

Scotty said:

How come you weren't enjoying powder turns?

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Work

I was going to post this in the "How long have you waited in lift line" thread, but then though, this little piece of self deprecation belongs here.


This is how NOT to ski a powder day.


2 or 3 years ago, late March dump ( very end of Mar, almost April ) , 3 feet legit. I arrive at Hunter Parking lot at 7:00-7:30 AM to get first tracks in the freshies. Parking lot was hardly plowed at all, plow trucks just starting to plow it. No electric power at Hunter, none, everything dead. Lodge open but dark. I contemplate bailing, but just then some friends of mine came into the lodge, so I stay. We are bull sh!tting, killing time waiting for power. Power comes on at 9:30ish. Announcement over PA that they hope to get the lifts running around 10:00AM. I head down to get ticket. While I was BSing with my friends, those bastard buses from NYC dropped a ton of people off. Even though the ticket window was closed, because there was no electric, those bus people got on the ticket line. The friggin line was hundreds deep and snaked way around a few serpentine loops and then out the door and along the side of the building. Mother F'er .. I screwed the pooch. But to be honest, I wouldn't have stayed if I had to stand in a ticket line that wasn't moving for 2 hours.


Finally get ticket, and get on lift line about 11:20 AM. The friggin lift line was off the charts, backed up to near the end of terrain park for the quad. Hunter had already laid off some of it's staff for the season. The D lift triple was not plowed out and wouldn't run that day, and the F lift was not running. At this point I had to stay in line and get a run, I had so much invested in that day, hahaha. The sun was out and everyone was basically resigned to the fact that not many runs would be had, so everyone was pretty cool in line and joking and just chilling. I think I got 2 runs that day.


I should have brought along my skins.

Man, that Hunter day really sux. Problem is, you didn't deserve a dope-slap. Entirely out of your control. I'd be tempted to find a local with a snowmobile, give him $50 to ferry me up the hill all day.
Love that cat toy story too.

With all the forgetfulness in this thread, and adding my own, I've got an idea for getting rich. This can apply to any "forgetfulness" situation. Here's the concept. Put some "thingy" on each item you risk losing. Have a special dongle on your keychain that does a scan of all your equipment to make sure you've collected all your items and they are all together, in their designated place (not laying on the roof!) If the dongle turns green, you're good to go.

For the forgetful who would forget to check the light, I'd offer a $500 ignition disable switch option!


I'll leave it to an engineer to devise the solution. Seems to me the market for such a device would be unbounded!

Scruffy said:

I should have brought along my skins.

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Betchya do now.

billski said:

For the forgetful who would forget to check the light, I'd offer a $500 ignition disable switch option!
I'll leave it to an engineer to devise the solution. Seems to me the market for such a device would be unbounded!

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If your refering to the lights in your car,my last 2 vehicles shut them off after 5 minutes.

SIKSKIER said:

If your refering to the lights in your car,my last 2 vehicles shut them off after 5 minutes.

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I'm talking about that light on the dongle I just invented, which tells me I've got all my possessions!

This is more of an après ski dope slap story.
On a ski trip three years ago I was staying for a couple nights in a cheap motel in Salt Lake City, motel6/super8 or similar. I have deleted the particular name from my memory banks, it seemed like a good deal on paper. Around 7pm me and adult son walk down the hall to the motel's indoor hot tub. We're in swim suits with no shirts and it's pretty cool in the hall so we're moving quickly. We walk into the hot tub room and see the backs of four people in the tub. We already have our toes in the water by the time we get a good look at the folks sharing this smallish hot tub: two gross, middle aged, beer drinking trucker dudes with two fat 19-21 year old, beer drinking women (who are most likely ladies of the evening). OMG, we're committed to the hot tub. There is no pool. At least they all have swim suits on, I think. I never looked down. My son gives me an uncomfortable glare, we sit in the tub for about three minutes. I decide we've had enough when the ladies begin to ramp up their kissing and massaging of the truckers. It was a long three minutes, I deserved a dope slap for leaping before looking.

jimk said:

This is more of an après ski dope slap story.
On a ski trip three years ago I was staying for a couple nights in a cheap motel in Salt Lake City, motel6/super8 or similar. I have deleted the particular name from my memory banks, it seemed like a good deal on paper. Around 7pm me and adult son walk down the hall to the motel's indoor hot tub. We're in swim suits with no shirts and it's pretty cool in the hall so we're moving quickly. We walk into the hot tub room and see the backs of four people in the tub. We already have our toes in the water by the time we get a good look at the folks sharing this smallish hot tub: two gross, middle aged, beer drinking trucker dudes with two fat 19-21 year old, beer drinking women (who are most likely ladies of the evening). OMG, we're committed to the hot tub. There is no pool. At least they all have swim suits on, I think. I never looked down. My son gives me an uncomfortable glare, we sit in the tub for about three minutes. I decide we've had enough when the ladies begin to ramp up their kissing and massaging of the truckers. It was a long three minutes, I deserved a dope slap for leaping before looking.

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Did you update your shots after getting out?

Our Jetta has a keyless lock and ignition system. You can unlock and start the car just by having the "key" on your person. I started her car this morning and then put the key by her purse. She proceeded to drive to work without the key. Lucky for her I noticed and brought it to her! My big fear is that this could happen on a far away ski trip... Argh!


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Savemeasammy said:

Our Jetta has a keyless lock and ignition system. You can unlock and start the car just by having the "key" on your person. I started her car this morning and then put the key by her purse. She proceeded to drive to work without the key. Lucky for her I noticed and brought it to her! My big fear is that this could happen on a far away ski trip... Argh!


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My biggest fear with that option is inadvertently starting the vehicle during an oil change, or some other maintenance...

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You have to put your foot in the brake. Inadvertent starts should be a non-issue. Inadvertent drive offs with no way to restart the car after shutting it off though is another story! It is a nice feature to have when getting into the car at the end if the day. No fishing around for the key.


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