non-skiing spouses and DTI

[gmcunni]

i have a non-skiing wife. i managed 30 days last season.

* keys for me - pass to nearby mountain for easy day trips
* kids enjoy skiing and i can take them for a day and give my wife time to do somehting she likes
* take my son for a weekend or two and the wife/daughter have a girls weekend ( a movie, nails, etc)
* neighbor in same situation so we usually manange 1 weekend away where the wives hang out and do "stuff" while men/kids ski
* mid-week trips when i can so that there is little difference in "impact" to family as me being at work.

wife even said if we could swing a trip she'd love to see Denver we did somethign similar a few years ago, family vacation to Utah. we skied while wife did touristy stuff. we did a touristy stuff as family in evenings.

 

[Greg]

Tough sometimes with little kids, but I've found ways to make it work. I ski lots of nights, I don't ski Saturdays normally since those are reserved for family/house stuff. Even Sundays are only a few times a year. Day trips are normally Fridays. Sometimes I'll leave late Thursday night if heading up north, and return Friday after skiing. I can easily get in 30-40 days with this approach. Good enough.

My wife skis here and there, but not often, although she does like the skiing atmosphere and enjoys family ski trips. The kids are getting into it so that helps, and will probably mean we all start to ski together more as a family. Skiing with the family is awesome, but I still need to make time to ski with the boys so I can let them rip. The most important thing is balance. I try to never get in the way of things my wife wants to do, and encourage her to go out with friends, go shopping, whatever, as much as possible. When I'm home, I perform the typical man-bitch routine - clean the house, do laundry, help with the kids, etc. Works for me.

 

[vonski]

My wife is pregnant and due in the next two weeks. I circumvented the situation, by buying my pass again in April last year for this year. Could not beat Sugarbushes early rates. And that Way I Have to Go This Winter.

She asked me the other day how much skiing I will do this winter. I had 50 days 2 years ago and about 35 last year. I simply stated that depends upon the snow. IF there is a ton of snow then more and if not such a good year then less.

Sure she gets upset as she is just learning to snow board, and realizes that is not in the cards for her this winter.

But I have an 11 year old who skis with me and her two from her first marriage who are 5 and 6. I will teach them this winter and make trips with her to come along.

My son and I will be out on the other weekends. I get a break somewhat as she knows that my son and I ski as much as possible. and since I have him on weekends in the winter what else to do.

I did tell her that I probably won't get as many days as last year. I also have been giving up other things this summer like fishing to do things with her now. That way I will have credits built up for the winter.

She does claim I am obsessed, too true, but as Far as I am concerned, I love to ski and always will. I gave it up with my first marriage as she did not ski and when I met my new bride, I explicitly explained that I am in VT most winter weekends.

Good luck to you and Think Snow!!

 

[4aprice]

Domestic Tranquillity Index - New one on me but I like it.

I met my wife in my early 20's. We became ski partners before we ever dated. We put are children on ski's at an early age. Skiing is part of our life style as is boating in the warmer weather months.

All that being said my wife dosn't obsess on things like I do. When I plan and scheme for the season, the plans I see in the summer and fall usually get scaled back. She's much more sensible then I am. If I see 3 trips to Northern New England usually I'll get 2. But family and life and sometimes weather all combine to get in the way. My wife is my best friend and is very good to me so when my grand plans are stamped out (after a brief pout) I relent and and try to keep the DTI high.

Alex

Lake Hopatcong, NJ

 

[tarponhead]

Been busy at work and finally able to log in. I check back in, see the tread was moved and ...

Answer some basic questions: (and sorry in advance, I did not read all the threads. Will do so tonight when I have more time. It's this work thing right now...)

Yes she skis but very infrequently. She will probably go for a day when we are up at Lake Placid during Christmas break (she loves that place), and maybe one other time at our local hill. She is just not an outdoor person to the extent I am. It's cool, there are to many other areas where we do overlap so it was not an issue until the ski bug hit us (me, and boys).

Her favorate hobby is spinning and knitting. I spend considerable time with her going to the various shops and fairs (Reinbeck in Oct) because it is actually fun. Knitters remind me of fly-tiers so I can relate. Gives us time together doing what she likes. Plus, I get some kewl skull sweaters and socks out of the deal :beer:

She is ok with me and the boys going to our local hill, but when it comes to spending additional $ to go elsewhere she freaks a bit. This is kinda odd as we both do well salary wise. She does not understand there is a difference between skiing our local hill (poconos vert; Blue) and real vert (WF, Stowe, SL ect.). Makes no sense to her.

I guess if I got her more into skiing it would then be obvious to her. But after 17 years of marrage I kinda know what she will bite on and what she won't. But ya never know.

Anyhoo, back to breaking rocks.....

 

[Glenn]

We rented before we bought my wife gear. We took some time off due to life happening. And when we got back into it, we rented her gear for two days. She still liked skiing, so wen went ahead and bought her stuff. I insisted on heated boots and it has paid off..what a great investment.

 

[WJenness]

Threads like this remind me how lucky I am...

My gf got me into skiing and has been talking almost obsessively for about a month now about how she wishes we could go skiing now.

Also, she's helping her sister with her (the sister's) wedding coming up in October. The most recent discussion was that of honeymoons. "Everyone always goes to a warm tropical place for a honeymoon, don't you think it would be more fun to do something like going to Chile and skiing in the summer?"

-w

 

[2knees]

some of the biggest arguments i have with my wife are about my skiing time. I found a work around but its less then ideal......

 

[Greg]

 

[wa-loaf]

Her favorate hobby is spinning and knitting. I spend considerable time with her going to the various shops and fairs (Reinbeck in Oct) because it is actually fun. Knitters remind me of fly-tiers so I can relate. Gives us time together doing what she likes. Plus, I get some kewl skull sweaters and socks out of the deal :beer:

She is ok with me and the boys going to our local hill, but when it comes to spending additional $ to go elsewhere she freaks a bit. This is kinda odd as we both do well salary wise. She does not understand there is a difference between skiing our local hill (poconos vert; Blue) and real vert (WF, Stowe, SL ect.). Makes no sense to her.

My wife was huge into spinning and knitting and was even selling her own died wool. They talk about spinning wheels and skien winders like we talk about ski gear. Not to mention that stuff isn't cheap. Sounds like you have a fair trade there. Maybe there's some way to relate your obsession with hers. And at least she can keep herself busy knitting in the lodge ... ;-) She must be busy on the forums too, my wife always had some knitting friend she met online that she wanted to visit whenever we went somewhere.

 

[gmcunni]

 

[wa-loaf]

What were we talking about?

 

[RootDKJ]

Thank you sir, may I have another?

 

[Greg]

Gary's is way better. Not much of a resemblance to Pat though... :lol:

 

[Greg]

What were we talking about?

It's called the "Clark Kent" maneuver. You make it look like you're heading off to the office, but you pull a Superman and go skiing instead... Unfortunately, the goggle tan is usually a giveaway.... :lol:

 

[wa-loaf]

It's called the "Clark Kent" maneuver. You make it look like you're heading off to the office, but you pull a Superman and go skiing instead... Unfortunately, the goggle tan is usually a giveaway.... :lol:

Oh, I know. I was just distracted by nipples.

 

[WJenness]

Oh, I know. I was just distracted by nipples.

Powerful things... Nipples...

-w

 

[mattchuck2]

Just curious,

How do you folks - particularly those with non-skiing spouses - keep the DTI (Domestic Tranquility Index) at acceptable levels?

Can't relate.

Here's my wife:

 

[Ski Diva]

Nice pic!!!

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

My wife doesn’t ski and I try to do everything she wants in the off season. In season I ski, that’s my line in the sand, and it can cause arguments between us from time to time.