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NORTHEAST GRIPPED BY SNOW-ITIS EPIDEMIC

chocolateSkiBunny

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Jan 4, 2005
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Monday, January 24--Employers and ski resorts from the Midwest to New England are baffled by a sudden outbreak of the mysterious and infectious disease snow-itis.

The main symptom of snow-itis is a sudden allergic reaction to engaging in everyday activities. Today, businesses all over the northeast received calls from workers reporting that their snow-itis rendered them unable to report to work.

The causes of snow-itis are unknown, but scientists have been studying a link between its outbreaks and weather patterns that result in large amounts of snow. While snowstorms are normally associated with inconvenience, a decrease in parking spaces, school closings, subzero temperatures, and the resulting stress, snow-itis victims derive and express pleasure from the situation. They have been spotted jumping up and down in their front yards screaming "We're getting a dump! F**ing-A!" Even worse, they have also been known to whistle a happy tune while digging their vehicles of snowdrifts.

While there is no known cure for snow-itis, the only effective treatment seems to be a day of snow-related activity at the nearest ski resort. While this activity usually involves the use of alpine skis, snowboards, snowshoes, nordic skis and and telemark skis are also popular with snow-itis patients. Treatment consists of using the aforementioned objects to move across snow-covered terrain with all deliberate speed, followed by a period of eating, drinking, and partying.

More on this story as it develops.
 

tirolerpeter

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N.E. gripped by snowitis

Chocolatesnowbunny I know exactly what you are talking about. It used to hit me like a brick! It took a terrible toll on my accumulated sick days. Funny thing.......I haven't had a single relapse since I retired four years ago. Go figure!
 

hammer

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Apr 28, 2004
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flatlands of Mass.
chocolateSkiBunny said:
The main symptom of snow-itis is a sudden allergic reaction to engaging in everyday activities. Today, businesses all over the northeast received calls from workers reporting that their snow-itis rendered them unable to report to work.
I'm fully afflicted and I still had to go to work...anyone know if it's contagious?
 

thetrailboss

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Yes, I had a case of ski-iits, until my freakin' car wouldn't start this AM to get me to the slopes :angry: . What a shame!!!! Oh well....I'll be at SB on Friday and at our little home hill on Saturday.
 

subdude

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Mar 23, 2004
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Westminster Mass
hammer said:
chocolateSkiBunny said:
The main symptom of snow-itis is a sudden allergic reaction to engaging in everyday activities. Today, businesses all over the northeast received calls from workers reporting that their snow-itis rendered them unable to report to work.
I'm fully afflicted and I still had to go to work...anyone know if it's contagious?

Yes it is very contagious. I believe the symptoms are similar to the "White Flu" :D
 

ctenidae

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Nov 11, 2004
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I find myself looking at the mounds of snow piled up everywhere here in Boston, and imagining how cool it would be if I were 2 cm tall and could ski down the mounds. I look at bowls, chutes, flats, steeps, and even imagine glades in places where the snow has melted out from under little ice crystals, resembling trees.
Is this a symptom of snow-itis, and is there any treatment?
 
B

beswift

Guest
City streets in the dead of winter choke your mind with dirty snow.
Jefferson Airplane
If you think the piles of snow in Boston are imposing, try a drive down to Cape Cod. Everytime one has to enter a main street like Rt. 28, you can't see any of the traffic coming due to the high piles of snow. It's very nerve wracking. The parking lots that have islands in them make finding your car and getting in and out a real nightmare. Yesterday I bought a compass to keep me from getting lost in Falmouth.
 
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