Sorry To Hear

[andyzee]

I could never understand the phrase "sorry to hear" in times of personal crisis. "Sorry to hear you're mom died", "Sorry to hear you hurt yourself". What is this supposed to mean "sorry to hear" . Taken at face value, it would appear that you are not sorry for someone's loss, instead, you're sorry to hear about it.

 

[Puck it]

Yea. I'm having an ugly mood swing. Right now and I was happy today. C'est la vie!!!!

 

[andyzee]

Yea. I'm having an ugly mood swing. Right now and I was happy today. C'est la vie!!!!

I'm not sorry to hear about it, but am sorry you are in an ugly mood. What happened, you were all like happy and stuff?

 

[ctenidae]

Taken at face value, it would appear that you are not sorry for someone's loss, instead, you're sorry to hear about it.

That's generally how I mean it. Because now that I've heard it, I have to pretend like I care.

 

[riverc0il]

I don't like the word "sorry" in general. Try to avoid it at all costs. Both saying it and hearing it. Especially hearing it directed at me so I try to be aware not to utter it to others.

You can tell I am a manager. Don't tell me you are sorry, tell me what you are going to do to fix it and not let it happen again. Perfect!

 

[andyzee]

I don't like the word "sorry" in general. Try to avoid it at all costs. Both saying it and hearing it. Especially hearing it directed at me so I try to be aware not to utter it to others.

You can tell I am a manager. Don't tell me you are sorry, tell me what you are going to do to fix it and not let it happen again. Perfect!

That I'm sorry to hear :lol:

 

[Puck it]

Manager that is.

 

[wa-loaf]

Sorry to hear your Happy Day thread disappeared.

 

[Puck it]

Sorry to hear your Happy Day thread disappeared.

Being sincere?

 

[Dr Skimeister]

Many, many years ago a friend said something to me that I've never forgotten.

" 'I'm sorry' is the second most misused phrase in the English language........'I love you' is the first".

 

[wa-loaf]

Being sincere?

Well, I was letting you have your moment. Don't know what happened after I left work.

 

[Puck it]

Well, I was letting you have your moment. Don't know what happened after I left work.

Just lovin's like the ad says. No more no less.

 

[Marc]

I think you've been confused by the contraction involved in the language.

I've always taken the statement "I'm sorry to hear..." to mean, or imply, "Upon hearing *news of loss, bad fortune, whatever" I'm sorry for *you, what happened, etc.*"

In this instance I'd say using the adjective "sorry" to describe yourself makes perfect sense. The root noun of the adjective "sorry" is the emotion "sorrow," synonyms of which include sadness, grieff, pity, anguish, woe, etc.

 

[jaywbigred]

Well, if we posit that "I'm sorry your Mom died" might be the most direct way to say it, it also may be too blunt. Further, if you do not learn of the news right away, it may seem inappropriately timed, and a poor thing to mention, as a person tries to move on from loss.

Therefore, I think its just a colloquial substitution for "It brought me sorrow to have learned of the fact of your Mother's passing" without sounding like a pilgrim. You express your sorrow, and state it in a way that softens the blow, as a person tries to move on from their loss.

When my Dad died a couple years ago, people said it a lot to me, and I was grateful for their thoughts and support.

 

[dmc]

It's the thought that counts...

Don't think too much..

 

[Euler]

I don't like the word "sorry" in general. Try to avoid it at all costs. Both saying it and hearing it. Especially hearing it directed at me so I try to be aware not to utter it to others.

You can tell I am a manager. Don't tell me you are sorry, tell me what you are going to do to fix it and not let it happen again. Perfect!

If the "sorry" is a thoughtless phrase meant to imply "oh well" then it is a worthless remark. On the other hand, I find all too often that people refuse to own up to their mistakes and try to blame others. Sometimes "sorry" is one of the steps is taking ownership of one's mistakes, and in that case it is a good thing.

 

[riverc0il]

If the "sorry" is a thoughtless phrase meant to imply "oh well" then it is a worthless remark. On the other hand, I find all too often that people refuse to own up to their mistakes and try to blame others. Sometimes "sorry" is one of the steps is taking ownership of one's mistakes, and in that case it is a good thing.

That is one way of looking it at.... but my way of looking at it is if you sack up and take ownership for your mistakes, fix the problem, and implement a plan to ensure it doesn't happen again then you don't need to say sorry in the first place because it is likely something very positive happened due to the problem.

Outside of managerial use, I don't like sorry either. The word just grates on my nerves. Probably because most people just "say it" socially because it is the accepted thing to say regardless of whether they feel anything or not. It is so pervasive that it lessens the impact when someone is actually genuine and caring and concerned.

 

[billski]

I don't like the word "sorry" in general.

There are many ways to use it. I would not make broad sweeping generalization.

Having lost both parents and other loved ones, it's my experience that most people are uncomfortable with and terrible at communicating the intended sentiment correctly. I just let it roll off my shoulders, knowing that they were clumsy and uncomfortable wtih their work. What is vastly more important is that they made an effort reach reach out or to be there. You have to remember that etiquette is what a society uses to get along with each other. There is protocol in all we do, like it or not.

The workplace environment is often different, when we are using it to get along with people who we must work with but generally are not personally interested in. Everytime I call verizon about a problem the first thing they say is "I'm sorry you're having a problem with xyz. Let me help you". That is clearly scripted and gratuitous.

Steve, It seems to me you are describing a manager-employee relationship. Really now, they do have to cow-tow to you don't they? You are the boss after all.

The place where I really lose it is when people shove past you, step on your toes, or let the door in your face, and just ignore you. The right thing to do is to acknowledge their presence and don't acknowledge the infraction, at all, using words like "sorry" or "excuse me". It gives the me-first, you be damned message. Back in the ice age when I was young, it was commonplace , except for NYC. Today simple courtesies are non-existant in the northeast US.

 

[Glenn]

If the "sorry" is a thoughtless phrase meant to imply "oh well" then it is a worthless remark. On the other hand, I find all too often that people refuse to own up to their mistakes and try to blame others. Sometimes "sorry" is one of the steps is taking ownership of one's mistakes, and in that case it is a good thing.

+1. Life would be a lot better if people just took ownership when they goofed up.

 

[dmc]

What I don't like is "My bad"