Dealing With A Suicide

[ScottySkis]

I am very sorry about your loss.
As someone with depression I can relate a little. When I was younger I did stupid things not caring if I died from them. I never wanted to kill my self with a gun but took stupid chances. Actually I probably be dead if I didn't find a great natural antidepressants. If it was bad enough for your friend then it wasn't that he was trying to neglect his family he was just trying to make it better for everyone else that what he thought probably. I am really sorry and like others said just think ot the great memories you have.

 

[Geoff]

I've lived through a few suicides of people close to me. Yeah, the first thing that goes through your mind is a mix of guilt and regret that you didn't spot the symptoms and do something to prevent it. Depression sucks and most who have it don't get treatment. My marriage didn't survive a suicide incident where my father-in-law blew out his brains in the kitchen of the house my then-wife owned. That was a very selfish way to do it.

 

[skiNEwhere]

I am very sorry for your loss

Coming back from multiple deployments in the middle east, our battalion had a few people that needed help. From what I heard from the friends of a Marine that killed themself, he had just kept to himself, but didn't give any hints other than that.

My point being, you can't blame yourself. It's not like they said "I'm going to jump off of a bridge" with conviction, and you blew that off. There are very subtle hints that even mental health professionals can't pick up on. Everyone had to take a PDHA when we got back from deployment that is supposed to screen for suicidal thoughts, and all I was thinking when I took the test was that if someone really wants to kill themselves and not get help, they probably shouldn't answer yes to the question of "I have had thoughts of hurting or killing myself"

I'm sure you would have helped your friend out if they had asked. You can't blame yourself if they didn't.

 

[deadheadskier]

That was a very selfish way to do it.

How one chooses to end their life is really the only time I associate "selfishness" with suicide. My friend who killed himself went out on the porch for some fresh air during halftime of a football game on TV. His roommate heard the shotgun blast and ran outside to basically find my friend nearly headless on the ground in the front yard. His roommate needed a lot of therapy to get over that horrific experience. We had a gun suicide at the hotel I work at about a month ago. It was the first week on the job for the Bellman who found the guy. He quit on the spot, which I can't blame him for.

Sorry to hear about your father-in-law and the effect that experience had on your marriage.

 

[Huck_It_Baby]

I've lost two friends to suicide. I'm very sorry to hear of the loss, pain and confusion I'm sure you're feeling. I found it a difficult thing to deal with because on top of losing someone you are faced with a lot of personal thoughts in an attempt to understand the event. You question why they did it, if you could have done something, if you spent enough time with them or listened to them. Don't place blame on yourself though. Do what you can for their family, friends and your own mental health.

I didn't read the entire thread yet but I'm sure others who have had this in their life are saying similar things here.

Stay strong!

 

[MadMadWorld]

Amazed by everyone's stories and how many people have been affected by suicide. The one thing I really take from this is that everyone grieves in different ways and to just support each other in however they are working through the tragedy. Reading these posts after reminiscing with old friends over beers tonight has made a difference.

I love a community like this....its what these boards should be about. Thank you everyone and even though I know none of you on a personal level....If anyone needs to talk or hit up some turns...I'm here.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using AlpineZone mobile app

 

[Abubob]

I love a community like this....its what these boards should be about. Thank you everyone and even though I know none of you on a personal level....If anyone needs to talk or hit up some turns...I'm here.

:beer:

 

[Nick]

I've lived through a few suicides of people close to me. Yeah, the first thing that goes through your mind is a mix of guilt and regret that you didn't spot the symptoms and do something to prevent it. Depression sucks and most who have it don't get treatment. My marriage didn't survive a suicide incident where my father-in-law blew out his brains in the kitchen of the house my then-wife owned. That was a very selfish way to do it.

Wow, sorry to hear that.

These stories you guys are sharing are really unbelievable. Like DHS said, I think it's very hard for someone without depression to relate to it. I can't imagine what it would be like to feel helpless, really truly helpless, in my own mind.

 

[Warp Daddy]

There are some. Very good people on this board , with meaningful insights who actually do care about their fellow skiers and others in general !

Many here were a source of inspiration during my open heart surgery and recovery and return to our sport over 4and 1/2 yrs ago .... It helped

Good on you all for giving a damn and offering support to EACH other when the situation merits it !

 

[JimG.]

Wow, sorry to hear that.

These stories you guys are sharing are really unbelievable. Like DHS said, I think it's very hard for someone without depression to relate to it. I can't imagine what it would be like to feel helpless, really truly helpless, in my own mind.

Depression is a spectrum and we all live in that spectrum. Some are always upbeat and happy, others often miserable and depressed. It can come and go or grip you and not let go. Or you can never feel depressed. But the specter lives in all of us and one life event can trigger it. Depression is probably the most common mental health issue worldwide. When someone does something that seems evil or incomprehensible, depression is often the reason. Scary. Makes me realize that bitching about Hunter not making snow is pretty ridiculous and lame.

 

[Riverskier]

Sorry for your loss. Fortunately I have never had to deal with this myself. I am surprised, shocked really, just how many people here have. I guess it doesn't typically make the news, so unless you are personally affected by it, it would be easy to assume it is much rarer than it actually is. I have to say that the idea of suicide is perhaps the hardest human action for me to understand in life. It really shows just how serious of a disease depression can be.

 

[MadMadWorld]

Yea depression really affects everyone and doesn't care about gender, race, etc. I've never suffered from it but after a few emotional sleepless nights I can definitely see how people can fall into such a dark place. I think being there for others and having real discussions like this go a long ways. It has has had a big affect on me

Sent from my SCH-I545 using AlpineZone mobile app

 

[NotEasyBeingGreen]

I am very, very sorry for your loss and for the onslaught of emotions you must feel right now. Not to be hokey, but there's a concept in practicing mindfulness that encourages you not to harshly judge your own emotions, just let 'em flow and be aware of them, but don't be too hard on yourself for feeling angry or guilty or whatever. Peace.