I'm going crazy!!!!!!!!!

[KingM]

BTW, my 5 year old son learned a very valuable ski lesson this morning on the Snowdon Quad. Don't kiss a frozen safety bar. Our ski day ended at noon today because of that. Some blood and some crying but not too bad overall. $20 says he won't do that again. Poor kid.

Ah, crap. That sucks. Poor guy.

 

[madskier6]

I generally agree with most of what people have said here about drawing the line with your spouse relating to going skiing. I will point out, however, that having young children complicates matters in a significant way. What are you gonna say to your wife: "You stay home & watch the kids while I go skiing & F you if you don't like it"? I know you guys weren't recommending that but my point is it's not as easy to just cut-out on the family responsibilities when your wife also works & there are young children around. It gets a lot easier to ski when you want when the children get older & you can either take them with you skiing or they can be self-sufficient at home without either parent around.

 

[KingM]

It gets a lot easier to ski when you want when the children get older & you can either take them with you skiing or they can be self-sufficient at home without either parent around.

Yes, this has been great for me. I take the kids to MRG every Sunday and when I need a more exciting day I just go with my oldest son, who is 13 and can ski anything I can, plus some. The middle of the day is usually quieter at the inn vs. morning or evening, so it's usually not so bad for Melinda.

 

[severine]

I generally agree with most of what people have said here about drawing the line with your spouse relating to going skiing. I will point out, however, that having young children complicates matters in a significant way. What are you gonna say to your wife: "You stay home & watch the kids while I go skiing & F you if you don't like it"? I know you guys weren't recommending that but my point is it's not as easy to just cut-out on the family responsibilities when your wife also works & there are young children around. It gets a lot easier to ski when you want when the children get older & you can either take them with you skiing or they can be self-sufficient at home without either parent around.

Thank you for adding this. As someone who has been on the other side of that scenario, I can say it absolutely sucks to see your spouse go out and ski while you're stuck with the kids all the time. Kids change the situation. And "when your wife also works" isn't required to change that... When you stay home with the kids all day long, it's harder than going to work every day and you get worn out from the kids much more easily. Everybody needs "me" time. The thing is, you have to speak up and you both have to be willing to work out an arrangement that is right for both of you. That was the mistake I made in the past, but it's being remedied now.

Pat, I know you help out a lot and I don't feel like you're the kind of guy who typically says, "Screw you, I'm leaving to do whatever I want to do." There needs to be give and take on both sides and it sounds like your wife isn't doing a lot of that right now. I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[billski]

Don't kiss a frozen safety bar. Our ski day ended at noon today because of that. Some blood and some crying but not too bad overall. $20 says he won't do that again. Poor kid.

 

[billski]

Thank you for adding this. As someone who has been on the other side of that scenario, I can say it absolutely sucks to see your spouse go out and ski while you're stuck with the kids all the time. Kids change the situation. And "when your wife also works" isn't required to change that... When you stay home with the kids all day long, it's harder than going to work every day and you get worn out from the kids much more easily. Everybody needs "me" time. The thing is, you have to speak up and you both have to be willing to work out an arrangement that is right for both of you. That was the mistake I made in the past, but it's being remedied now.

Pat, I know you help out a lot and I don't feel like you're the kind of guy who typically says, "Screw you, I'm leaving to do whatever I want to do." There needs to be give and take on both sides and it sounds like your wife isn't doing a lot of that right now. I'm sorry to hear that.

After re-reading my post, I realize it wasn't a balance portrait of my family life. Having raised 3 girls, I spent many winters, including the birthing years away from the slopes. I most certainly did pitch in. However, the quid-pro-quo was that every winter we go go to a resort for a few days. It was a vacation for both. I'd go out with the oldest and play on the bunny slopes, she'd stay in and sleep with the baby. Nobody cooked or cleaned, always had lunch and dinner. Slope-side, so when the "I'm cold" sets in, it's easy to tag team. My wife took care of the kids all day, when I got home and on weekends, they were mine. diapers, meals, cleaning, toilets, throwups, nighttime illness, and on it goes. Not a lot of skiing in those years. But it's a small amount of time in a 25 year marriage.
As the kids got older, my wife faded and faded from skiing, until now, she makes a cameo appearance on a sunny saturday morning of our single trip home. She'd rather be shopping, visiting with friends, sleeping and shuttling the kids here and there. She wants to go to a wedding in chicago, I'll be home to shuttle the kids all over metro Boston. Two of the three kids have really lost interest in skiing. The third has never been super enthusiastic. So I'm now in the scenario where I'm taking them under duress, which is NOT cool, so I won't do it. However, while they gravitate to other interests, and I support them in all their sports, drama, my wife's activities; what I'm saying is that I refuse to give up the passion in my life.

As in all of life, what people don't like is surprises. So I give her fair warning that I'm planning on going next Monday. If she reminds me of some reasonable obstruction, I'll change things around. Ditto for her. I always used to be spontaneous, but with kids, it becomes almost impossible. So I had to give that part of me up, and now, sadly, I have a schedule.

The big challenge is that they all would rather burn up my vacation time going to some warm island than up in the mountains, either summer or winter. So I draw the line, saying I will ski, but it's negotiable to a point. If she was ever to say, "I don't want you skiing at all in January" that would be a real problem.

 

[Beetlenut]

After re-reading my post, I realize it wasn't a balance portrait of my family life. Having raised 3 girls, I spent many winters, including the birthing years away from the slopes. I most certainly did pitch in. However, the quid-pro-quo was that every winter we go go to a resort for a few days. It was a vacation for both. I'd go out with the oldest and play on the bunny slopes, she'd stay in and sleep with the baby. Nobody cooked or cleaned, always had lunch and dinner. Slope-side, so when the "I'm cold" sets in, it's easy to tag team. My wife took care of the kids all day, when I got home and on weekends, they were mine. diapers, meals, cleaning, toilets, throwups, nighttime illness, and on it goes. Not a lot of skiing in those years. But it's a small amount of time in a 25 year marriage.
As the kids got older, my wife faded and faded from skiing, until now, she makes a cameo appearance on a sunny saturday morning of our single trip home. She'd rather be shopping, visiting with friends, sleeping and shuttling the kids here and there. She wants to go to a wedding in chicago, I'll be home to shuttle the kids all over metro Boston. Two of the three kids have really lost interest in skiing. The third has never been super enthusiastic. So I'm now in the scenario where I'm taking them under duress, which is NOT cool, so I won't do it. However, while they gravitate to other interests, and I support them in all their sports, drama, my wife's activities; what I'm saying is that I refuse to give up the passion in my life.

As in all of life, what people don't like is surprises. So I give her fair warning that I'm planning on going next Monday. If she reminds me of some reasonable obstruction, I'll change things around. Ditto for her. I always used to be spontaneous, but with kids, it becomes almost impossible. So I had to give that part of me up, and now, sadly, I have a schedule.

The big challenge is that they all would rather burn up my vacation time going to some warm island than up in the mountains, either summer or winter. So I draw the line, saying I will ski, but it's negotiable to a point. If she was ever to say, "I don't want you skiing at all in January" that would be a real problem.

+1 I'm in the kids getting older phase right now. Problem is so am I! My 51/2 yo starts ski lessons next month. The last great opportunity to get one of my kids hooked on skiing! What I wouldn't give to be in a situation like loafer89 is with his son Warren!

 

[hammer]

My wife (who is a casual skier at most) is willing to go out skiing with me tomorrow night...kids are old enough that we can leave them at home.

Nice... :smile:

 

[Trekchick]

I here ya and feel your pain. Guys often joke about "They have a get out of jail card" for the weekend cause the wife is doing something so they get to do what they want. It's BS, marriage isn't suppose to be jail.

Could you guys pleeeeeeeease tell me husband how good he has it!?

 

[cbcbd]

BTW, my 5 year old son learned a very valuable ski lesson this morning on the Snowdon Quad. Don't kiss a frozen safety bar. Our ski day ended at noon today because of that. Some blood and some crying but not too bad overall. $20 says he won't do that again. Poor kid.

Sounds like he needs to watch A Christmas Story!

 

[SKIVT2]

Could you guys pleeeeeeeease tell me husband how good he has it!?

OMG Exactly!!!! I'm a wife and I LOOOOVE to ski!!! My husband taught me to ski years ago. I followed him and he waited downhill until the day I started keeping up. We ski glades, on ice, in powder, in the pouring rain. It's great excercise!!! I think your best bet in life is to share the things you love. My husband loves to salt water fish and he shared it with me. I learned to love it too so we bought a boat. Play together and stay together!! We ski 50 days a year. I tele, I ski, I've dabbled in boarding. We have had season passes since the day I graduated from college almost 20 years ago. Our quiver of skis is as diverse as any I've ever seen pictures of on the net. All our vacations are always active outdoor adventures.

But honestly I'm not sure I'd have gotten into these things except for my husband's encouragement. Everytime he wanted to fish or ski he asked me to go instead of "taking off with the boys." I appreciated that so much that I found his love of these sports and his encouragement infectious.

Life's too short to be punished for doing what you love. I read skiing and fishing message boards and I see this common theme over and over. "The wife won't let me" "I have to bribe her if I want to do my thing" "The wife is a whimpy skiier and won't go out unless it's perfect" blah blah blah. How about some cheese with that whine?

I'm posting because I think there are other ways to handle the issue. Most important is finding someone that whom you want to share stuff with and who wants to share with you. How comfortible/easy have you made it for her to share your hobbies with you? If she does not want to, how reasonable is that on her part?

Reading these boards you'd think all women are just a "ball and chain". I hate to say it but if you really feel that way you really ought to reconsider your life path. Life is short and you only live once.

I'm sure I'm going to get some defensive responses. I think you have to realize that everything is a choice. I'm sure most of you stay because the good things out weigh the bad. Good for you if that's true but then you really have nothing to complain about. Just remember you do have a choice. There are plenty of women out there that ski hard and like to play outside.


OK - Go ahead--Flame away

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

Could you guys pleeeeeeeease tell me husband how good he has it!?

He does have it good. So do I in a different way. I love my wife and if it wasn't for her we would never have our house near Whiteface. We make the same money and I couldn't have done it without her. She knew it was a dream of mine so she went for it. She loves it there fall and summer. She likes hiking and kyacking alot. Winter not so much. I'm there every weekend with my sons and she usually doesn't want to come cause she has nothing to do all day while we're skiing. She'll be there alot of Christmas break and I hope it goes ok. Last Christmas she had a pretty good time.

 

[2knees]

Reading these boards you'd think all women are just a "ball and chain". I hate to say it but if you really feel that way you really ought to reconsider your life path. Life is short and you only live once.

OK - Go ahead--Flame away

You are right, it does sound like that sometimes and i'm certainly guilty of it. Its not fair and i'm sorry to have perpetuated that steroetype. i certainly dont think anyone is going to flame you for your post as it is pretty damn true.

My wife has far more good qualities then bad. Far more good qualities then i do. I doubt she would go on a public forum and complain about me, for starters. she might complain to her friends and sisters. :lol:

i shouldnt have put that post up. I was freakin pissed last night and didnt use good judgement. Its one of my many bad qualities.

 

[SkiingInABlueDream]

OMG Exactly!!!! I'm a wife and I LOOOOVE to ski!!! <snip snip...>
There are plenty of women out there that ski hard and like to play outside.

Oh man I can't wait to read the responses...
Everything you write sounds great in theory. If there really were "plenty" of women out there with outdoor interests, this discussion wouldnt be happening. Ive seen the scene in enough ski towns - your husband is one of the rare lucky ones.

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

OMG Exactly!!!! I'm a wife and I LOOOOVE to ski!!! My husband taught me to ski years ago. I followed him and he waited downhill until the day I started keeping up. We ski glades, on ice, in powder, in the pouring rain. It's great excercise!!! I think your best bet in life is to share the things you love. My husband loves to salt water fish and he shared it with me. I learned to love it too so we bought a boat. Play together and stay together!! We ski 50 days a year. I tele, I ski, I've dabbled in boarding. We have had season passes since the day I graduated from college almost 20 years ago. Our quiver of skis is as diverse as any I've ever seen pictures of on the net. All our vacations are always active outdoor adventures.

But honestly I'm not sure I'd have gotten into these things except for my husband's encouragement. Everytime he wanted to fish or ski he asked me to go instead of "taking off with the boys." I appreciated that so much that I found his love of these sports and his encouragement infectious.

Life's too short to be punished for doing what you love. I read skiing and fishing message boards and I see this common theme over and over. "The wife won't let me" "I have to bribe her if I want to do my thing" "The wife is a whimpy skiier and won't go out unless it's perfect" blah blah blah. How about some cheese with that whine?

I'm posting because I think there are other ways to handle the issue. Most important is finding someone that whom you want to share stuff with and who wants to share with you. How comfortible/easy have you made it for her to share your hobbies with you? If she does not want to, how reasonable is that on her part?

Reading these boards you'd think all women are just a "ball and chain". I hate to say it but if you really feel that way you really ought to reconsider your life path. Life is short and you only live once.

I'm sure I'm going to get some defensive responses. I think you have to realize that everything is a choice. I'm sure most of you stay because the good things out weigh the bad. Good for you if that's true but then you really have nothing to complain about. Just remember you do have a choice. There are plenty of women out there that ski hard and like to play outside.


OK - Go ahead--Flame away

I don’t think you’ll get flamed for giving your opinion. Anyways your post was pretty habitual, life’s too short, good out ways the bad, that’s pretty easy stuff to take.

Do you and your husband have kids? If you don’t then it’s a whole different deal then the minor domestic complaints you’re reading here. Couples without kids can pick up and go and do whatever they want. Those with kids have a rewarding family life, but very different considerations.

 

[madskier6]

Do you and your husband have kids? If you don’t then it’s a whole different deal then the minor domestic complaints you’re reading here. Couples without kids can pick up and go and do whatever they want. Those with kids have a rewarding family life, but very different considerations.

Exactly my point, HPD. Children make things much more complicated. It's easy for someone who doesn't have children to say you have a choice & could find someone out there that does share your passion for skiing & other outdoor activities. If kids are involved, it's not so simple to move on unless you want to be a lousy parent. I'm not trying to pick a fight with SKIVT2 at all because I agree with most of her post. But as they say, "Children change everything".

 

[madskier6]

Thank you for adding this. As someone who has been on the other side of that scenario, I can say it absolutely sucks to see your spouse go out and ski while you're stuck with the kids all the time. Kids change the situation. And "when your wife also works" isn't required to change that... When you stay home with the kids all day long, it's harder than going to work every day and you get worn out from the kids much more easily.

Totally agree that the wife working doesn't change things. I would much rather go to work than stay home with little ones all day. I stayed home with the kids some days & it is much harder than a day at work.

Part of the reason I added that to my original post is I know that Pat's wife works at night so if he doesn't get home from skiing by the time his wife has to leave for work, what happens to the little ones? But you are right, Carrie, that those wives that don't work often have a tougher time & need an understanding husband.

 

[Starter Jackets Rule!]

Greg bust out the bong and live by this acronym .... F.T.W!!!
then go skiing!

 

[automagp68]

Hey 2 kneee

Sorry to hear about the homefront, i have the same issue, only its my GF

I cant go sking with anyone but her or she flips out. Nice hu?
The only problem is she never wants to go.

and if i go without her i get the "so what girl did you take sking"

AHHH
shoot me

 

[hardline]

back to the topic. i just a hit a friggin 13 on the o shit o meter. sunday to tues are looking to fun as hell. no way i will be able to sleep tonight.