Frustration With Kids

[KingM]

What a frustrating day on the mountain. The weather was perfect, fresh snow, etc., and all spoiled by whiny kids. I don't know what was in them today, but the twins started to complain from the moment I told them to load up their gear. Every five minutes on the mountain someone asked if we could stop yet.

I finally sent the twins to go wait in the base area (this is MRG, btw). My older son and I took one run off the double but I was feeling guilty so I went to get them. The whining started again at once.

Does anyone else have this problem? I could just leave them home next time and enjoy a day on the mountain by myself, but I feel it's important to spend time with the kids and usually they have a good time, even if they would prefer to stay home watching TV or playing Game Boy when I first suggest going.

 

[GrilledSteezeSandwich]

Yikes..well if the kids don't want to ski leave them at home with a babysitter..Some kids would rather be at home watching cartoons than skiing.

I wasn't a kid that long ago and I was forced into Soccer and Swimming lessons which I hated..but I found skiing and wanted to do it on my own..Only like one in seven people who try skiing become lifelong participants..it's not for everybody..It's difficult though. If I ever have kids..it would be nice if they had an interest in skiing so family ski trips could take place..but if they would rather play gameboy..that's their choice..I feel for you though..It's enough to take care of myself..I couldn't imagine looking after little kids..

 

[Euler]

I have a daughter (10) who loves skiing and is considering joining Mt. Snow's devo program next season. My son (7) though has so many interests that skiing gets old for him after a couple hours. On any given day I have to convince him to come with us to the mountain, then he'll have the most fun of any of us for two hours, and then he'll start complaining. Luckily I am able to get out often enough that 2-3 hour sessions are really no big deal, but if I go to another mountain and actually pay to ski boy do I get annoyed when he wants to hang it up after a couple hours.

I often bribe him with a waffle or extra skiing in his favorite spots (trees, bumps, park), Mostly, I think it's important to be patient and flexible and not force him to ski because I want him to love it and if he's forced to do it more than he wants he for sure will not love it.

 

[davidhowland14]

I'm in the exact opposite situation. I'd spend all winter, every day on snow if I could, but the rest of my family doesn't ski or is happy with 1 weekend trip a year.

 

[billski]

The trick is reading the kid. Often it's not what they are saying, but what they are NOT saying that matters. I am no expert, but I have 3 kids, ages 18, 16 and 11, all who started at age 4. Until they were about 13 they were extremely unpredictable. One daughter is much better after lunch and an absolute grouch before. Other times, it's a matter of wanting 1-1 time with dad, or mom. Other times, they just want to have fun and they are not having fun. the last thing I ever wanted to do was alienate them. Remember that kids attention spans are short. I once had a daughter who declared mid trail, second run that "she was done" and wanted to go in and take off her gear. I sucked it up, did it, fully expecting to go home. Got her lunch and didn't talk about skiing or the money spent. About an hour later she starts putting her stuff back on and says "let's go." Kids aren't easy to understand , especially for many fathers.

It seems to me you've got too many kids to yourself. A group of three with a teacher dynamics are way diff. from a three with dad. It would be good to have another adult to split up the load with.

Don't set high expectations and you won't get so frustrated. try to make it fun. if they like doing the same trail all day, let them. If they want to do bumps, jumps, woods, help them find the stuff, no matter how boring it may seem to you. Don't expect to have a great time skiing. Remember, it's all about being with the kids and sharing some time together. Don't get hungup on them progressing. In time, it will come, when they are ready. And each kid is ready at a different time.

We spent yesterday as a family at Bolton. My youngest skied with her mom and they were content on midmountain greenies all day. The two older ones and I spent the day tearing up the bumps, black diamonds, park, and generally racing down the slopes. But we couldn't figure out who wanted to do what until we got there. You have to be flexible.

 

[billski]

if you really want an earful on how to handle them, go to the skidiva forums. they are far more skilled at it than males.

 

[KingM]

I think you guys are right about the unpredictability. I never know what I'm going to get.

Actually, my 12 year old is absolutely predictable. He wants to keep skiing and what he'd prefer would be to leave his brother and sister home and just ski with me.

It's the twins who are all over the place. Maybe I'll give them a week off and see if that helps.

 

[ckofer]

You've got to find out why they don't want to go. Overcome the objection or learn to adjust your schedule to mix what you want to do with they want to do. You could make them hate skiing if you push the issue the wrong way.

 

[billski]

I think you guys are right about the unpredictability. I never know what I'm going to get.

Actually, my 12 year old is absolutely predictable. He wants to keep skiing and what he'd prefer would be to leave his brother and sister home and just ski with me.

It's the twins who are all over the place. Maybe I'll give them a week off and see if that helps.

Look at what you just wrote. You've got a big skills/interest mismatch. Sounds like you need to take the 12YO separately from the twins. I know, your wallet and your schedule didn't want to hear that....

 

[ckofer]

How old are the twins?

 

[MommaBear]

I agree with the addition of another adult. We divy up our 7 year old that is hit or miss. Somedays he'll ski to last year, more often he's "done" at 10am (and we arrived at 9:30 cuz he was dragging his feet). I'll take him for a couple hours, then we break for an early lunch, then Dad takes him. And some days, his brothers (12 and 15) take him - which is absolutely loves. Gives them brotherly bonding time and Mom and Dad get to take a few runs together.

It IS about time with the kids and wanting them to enjoy it. HOWEVER, I've found, Mom and Dad are a lot happier if we get some real ski time in to. And there is nothing wrong with taking an hour or so to yourself (hence, the need for another adult). I'd give the twins a week off.

 

[hiroto]

I think you guys are right about the unpredictability. I never know what I'm going to get.

Actually, my 12 year old is absolutely predictable. He wants to keep skiing and what he'd prefer would be to leave his brother and sister home and just ski with me.

It's the twins who are all over the place. Maybe I'll give them a week off and see if that helps.

I gather you are alone with three kids? That is a challenging situation. We have 11 and 6 years old but it works out well with my wife that we can take turns doing challenging runs with my son and then spend relaxing time with our daughter and then we all ski together for part of the day.

I sometimes go by myself with both kids but most often I try to arrange so that my son will have a friend to ski with while I can focus on my younger. Recently we are trying to do more skiing with kid's friends. Quite often it is more challenging to arrange a ski trip with varying levels of skills and preferences among multiple families but kids will have great time together and will be highly motivated to go on skiing together.

I also ski only with my son for, say 1 out of 3 or 4 skiing days. I don't expect the younger one to ski as much as the older one and I don't think you should feel guilty leaving the younger ones behind.

 

[bvibert]

Sell the twins and keep the kid that appreciates skiing.

Sounds like a tough situation for one parent to handle. I wouldn't force them though. Set the guidelines before you head out. If they want to go with Dad that's great, but expect to spend the whole day at the mountain (on the slopes or in the lodge), if that doesn't sound appealing to them then they should stay home that day.

If it makes you feel better I took my 2.5 year old daughter skiing yesterday, she had enough before even starting down the first run on the magic carpet... :roll: I got her to do 3 or 4 'runs' and that was it. I guess she just wasn't feeling it, even though that's all she's been talking about....

 

[orsonab]

Kids are unpredictable and it becomes twice as difficult when more than one kid is involved. My 9 year-old takes some coaxing to go skiing, complains about how tired he is when he's on the first couple of chair lifts but two hours later he's gung-ho. He becomes very bored when we have to ski with his slow younger brother. I've got to the point where next season I shall actively try to either put the 9 year-old in a season-long program or at least try to find him some skiing buddies who can tag along with us.

 

[kcyanks1]

How old are your twins?

 

[MRGisevil]

Military school.

 

[marcski]

Also, its your mindset. It's not about you these days....(at least when you're with them) its about them. I go with my daughter and I'm basically her manservant. If she wants to ski all day (which she did yesterday) we do it. If she wants to take 2 runs and stop, we do it. We eat lots of snow in the woods and when she is skiing she is laughing with a huge grin while skiing down.

If you want some time to ski what and how YOU want...put them in a day or half day lesson. I've done that and it works out well, because kids will act and do and try different things for an instructor or "coach" than they will for mommy and daddy. Also, I highly recommend getting away alone without the kids with some buddies or the wife for a few days a season. You'll all enjoy it more especially at this age.

 

[Marc]

Military school.

I know of quite a few salt mines that are short on labor. Especially the kind that can fit into small spaces.

 

[billski]

I know of quite a few salt mines that are short on labor. Especially the kind that can fit into small spaces.

:idea: It sounds like Marc has enough detailed knowledge on these positions that he may be able to make a specific recommendation

 

[hammer]

Military school.

I know of quite a few salt mines that are short on labor. Especially the kind that can fit into small spaces.

The quotes from the childless are always entertaining...:roll: :wink:

I'm trying to figure out how the make the last few trips of the season interesting for the kiddos...for our next trip, I may see if my son's up for trying out a NASTAR course and I'm hoping my daughter will be able to invite a friend along.