What do we seek?

[dmc]

I heard/read a short clip about married couples who have stayed together for a very long time. Their secret was to have seperate interest, time away from each other could be a good thing.

yup.... My girl skis mellow stuff - I go for the crazy stuff...
We hardly see each other at all when we are skiing..........

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

Sound like skiing is part of your essense...
Don't let anyone or anything change that..
Cause then you wouldn't be you..

Well put, thanks for that.

 

[JimG.]

Responding to Sheik Yerbouti on this one (and others who might be in the same boat)…I can understand where it might be difficult if your significant other didn't ski or didn't like to ski as much as you. Part of it is that that they might not be able to relate to the sensation you get when out on the hill. Hitting an awesome powder day, enjoying some fast GS turns, learning a new trick or simply enjoying a beautiful day on a mountain is something that we all know to be awesome and we have a lot of enthusiasm for that. It’s an enthusiasm you only really know if you’ve been there. You can’t describe it well enough. You have to do it. That said, you definitely don’t want to force your interests down your SO’s throat. Just because you love something doesn’t mean someone else is going to share the enthusiasm to the extent you do….especially if they are new to the activity, whatever it may be…in this case, skiing. If you get a chance to get out on the slopes with your SO, don’t be too overbearing with your enthusiasm, let them discover what you already have.

Dan, it's obvious that you get it...my wife is Jamaican. She isn't ever going to be thrilled to look out the window and see 2 feet of fresh on the ground. But she has taken up skiing and she is quite happy to tool around the bunny slopes having fun. I go with her, but I fight my instinct to teach her unless she demonstrates she wants a lesson.

Since it's clear she has fun, who cares anyway?

 

[JimG.]

I heard/read a short clip about married couples who have stayed together for a very long time. Their secret was to have seperate interest, time away from each other could be a good thing.

Huh, everyone seems to get it today.

Truer words have never been spoken Jack.

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

It sounds to me like even though you clearly love skiing, all the other stuff is putting a damper on it for you.

Maybe it's time you got rid of some of the peripheral stuff -- at least the stuff that drives you crazy -- and just concentrate on the stuff you really like.

Just my two cents.

That's good advice, it's just not always so simple to drop things. Sometimes something can tick you off, but at other times be extremely rewarding.

If for some reason you where finding running your blog frustrating, would it be easy for you to just can it?

I was just bent this morning. Another good thing about AZ is it's a good place to vent about ski related stuff. Non-skiers might emphasize, but not really understand.

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

Well said. We're all headed for the boneyard someday so live life now. You don't want to have any regrets when you can't physically ski any longer.

And HPD - you probably speak for most of the active members here. With that said, just don't let your love for the sport negatively affect other important aspects of your life. You can ski all you want and still be a good father, husband, friend, employee, etc.

I get that. I always tell my wife that skiing is the most important unimportant thing in my life. The health and well being of her, the kids, family and close friends are what really matter. If you have that everything else is just details.

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

Being a practicing Yogi has helped me to appreciate each day in this lifetime and not let the negative stuff get me down. Skiing is a true passion of mine and I plan on doing it as much as I can for as long as my body can handle it.

But balance is important. Skiing is one aspect of who I am and not everyone around me wants to talk about the sport. That is why I come to AZ.

Nice, really

 

[SKIQUATTRO]

Communication and respect for each others time intrests are key....We both love skiing, shes a sold skiier and will ski 99% of the mountain (shes good) but now with the 2 kids, shes a bit more cautious (understanably) yet i have the urge to do more steeps etc...thats why we use talkabouts..you go your way, i'll go mine and we'll meet at the lift....when not skiing, I love surfing, road riding, mountain biking....she loves pilates, book club etc...as long as everyone knows whats going on and when there are no issues, she knows when the surf is good i wont be home for dinner, shes cool with that...its vital to let everyone have their "own" time.....

 

[jimme]

I guess we're all ski addicts. I think about skiing several times a day every day. I open a can of Glidewax just to get the smell of skiing during the summer. No one but you crazies know this about me. I hide it from my wife and kids because they don't ski and I have already driven them crazy by talking too much in the past. About 30 days and I can get my head back together again! This has been a grueling summer for me and I know skiing will help. SAD is about to end! Almost forgot- In 1999 I was starting to get on the fast track for my IT career and rediscovered skiing. After that epiphany I decided that living for fun is better than living for work and now consider skiing a "second job".

 

[jimme]

I live in that house. My wife has zero interest in skiing, and thinks, well, I'm nuts to do it. I knew this going in, but if she'd try it just once, maybe she'd develop the love and passion I have for it. Even though I only go 5, maybe 10 times a year, I look forward to each time like it is my first time. The fresh air, the feel of the wind, the anticipation of a new run on a new slope, everything, even the lazy, long blue runs, I think I like those the best. Get off at the top of the hill, ski all the way down the most winding way you can, enjoy the solitude, the beauty and serenity.
Damn, I have it bad...

My SO HATES the cold and has a -1000 interest in skiing or other outdoor activities. This is good because it saves a lot of $$. I could not have taken my Utah and Wyoming ski trips if we had to pay for two, so that is one bright side to it. She gets her time going out with her friends, so in the end it works out. We spend so much time together skiing is a good way to separate us for a while. I get about 15 day in and a weekend trip each year.

 

[thaller1]

My SO HATES the cold and has a -1000 interest in skiing or other outdoor activities. This is good because it saves a lot of $$. I could not have taken my Utah and Wyoming ski trips if we had to pay for two, so that is one bright side to it. She gets her time going out with her friends, so in the end it works out. We spend so much time together skiing is a good way to separate us for a while. I get about 15 day in and a weekend trip each year.

Wow.. I wouldn't want to go without my SO, but people are different..we are finding the cash for both of us to go to Wy and UT in January.. I love that we both go because it's that much easier for me to convince him to move West someday.

 

[wintersyndrome]

HPD i read your OP this morning and it had me thinking all day, and noticing how deep everyone has gotten here, has made me think as well...

what I seek from skiing (Snowboarding), and I guess what i seek from my other activities (sailing, surfing etc.) are very similar. It's the need to challenge ourselves, deeply rooted in the "Man vs. Nature" literary theme. Through the act of our physical engagement our periphrial mental noise goes away and we can focus on what we're doing and only what we are doing. There are times, when riding alone, without worrying about others, that i can truly find my way through the mental and emotional challenges of life by way of focusing specifically on the act of riding down a snowy mountain. I believe the japanese verb of this kind of enlightenment is "Satori" or "Kensho", a meditation whilst doing. It's touched on in one of or both of these books "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" (Dan Millman) or "The Way is Within" (Ron Rathburn)

Then there are the days when I'm riding with my brothers, and the three of us may be riding through the woods, blazing our own trails, choosing our own paths, (Just as we do off the mountain) and through our interactions, when we leave the mountain, our sibling bonds are tighter. This feeling is similar when I'm riding with friends, some of whom I may not have seen in years, but get us on the hill and we pick up where we left off, and leave each other with strengthened friendships.

There are many physical, emotional, and metaphysical reason why we ski, though I feel what we seek is the epiphany. we've all experienced the epiphany or we wouldnt be here, posting about our powder days in August . I'm sure my fellow Azers will agree there are days that stand out, the day "it all clicked" or the day the day "my son thanked me, truly thanked me" for taking him skiing. For me, at this juncture in life as i look forward towards marriage and fatherhood (no I'm not expecting though I do turn 31 tomorrow) I seek to be able to pass on and provide for my children what my father provided for us.
He paid for us to go skiing, before he allowed hiimself to learn, (talk about sacrafice) and when he finally did learn, his enthusiasm was magnetic and contagious, empassioning us to continue this sport.

So I guess what I seek, is to have that enthusiasm passed on to the next generation, to be able to recognize in my childrens eyes when they've had their epiphany days, when they realize that this activity, that in all its madness and sacrafices we make to enjoy this activity will be passed to their children, and to once again repeat this fascinating cycle.

-thanks for that....ws

 

[mattchuck2]

I think around this time of year, people have reached the pinnacle of ski fever.

The trick is to remember this feeling on a windy, cold, rainy, saturday in early March, when your legs feel like jelly from skiing fresh powder 6 days in a row and you're so hungover you can barely stand.

Do you go out skiing, or do you stay in bed?

Remember how you feel right now, how much skiing means to you, and how much you love getting just one more ski day in every year. See you on the mountain.

 

[loafer89]

For me skiing is a way to satisfy a very expensive addiction to my love of snow. And being without having been in contact with it for four months now is about as far as I can go without going insane.

My wife does not ski but she does support my addiction and now I am grooming my son to follow in daddy's footsteps.

I am not quite sure what makes me love snow and cold so much, and why it makes me happy.

 

[riverc0il]

HPD, i hear you about friendships suffering during ski season. i have found that the good friends understand that and keep in touch as often as possible and understand i won't be hanging around at all during the weekends. it strains, but any one that knows me and understands that people need to do whatmaks them tick work roll with it.

to be quite frank, i am glad my girl friend tolerates my obsession. she understands it is part of me. i would not suffer love for lack of skiing to be quite frank. you have to have your stuff together before you can get involved with other people. if someone tries to hold you back from your passion, and that which makes you what you are, then you got problems.

i don't define myself by skiing and i have way way way too many other pursuits and interests to manage. suffice to say, everything hits the back burner when the snow flies.

 

[tirolerpeter]

I heard/read a short clip about married couples who have stayed together for a very long time. Their secret was to have seperate interest, time away from each other could be a good thing.

My wife's idea of "outdoor activity" is walking out the door of one store and into the door of another. She HATES feeling "cold." Cold is defined as anything under 74 degrees. Any "breeze" whatsoever makes her ears cold! She even refuses to drive in a car that doesn't have the "recirc" button pushed. She drives with the A/C on all year, because without "outside air" all the windows fog up. Now try and picture convicing this woman to go skiing. Actually, she understands that I NEED to be "outside," especially in snow. In the "early" days of our relationship I stopped skiing altogether for many years. However, when we started to have kids I decided that they would not become "hot house plants." As soon as each was old enough I started taking them skiing. I did not "stick her" with child care because the kids were with me on ski trips. On the one trip to Vail that she came along on, she was miserable, and miserable to be with. The kids begged her to "never come along on a ski trip again." She is OK with my skiing addiciton, and while I travel a good deal to ski with my "buddies" and sometimes my grown children, we do spend a lot of time together on other activities that she likes, and I also enjoy to some degree. She also takes time to travel with friends, sometimes when I am skiing. We actually travel a lot together, both throughout the USA (We have been to all 50 states) and internationally. In fact, she is so OK with my desire to ski more, she is moving to UT with me. Sure, she has her own hobbies and is a passionate Quilt Maker. Fortunately that is really big out in the west. We have worked it out over time, and in two weeks we will be celebrating our 39th wedding anniversary. So, separate interests and vacations are not necessarily bad. It can work out.

 

[SKIVT2]

I respect you guys for "working it out" but I can't imagine having anything in common with a housebound man who was afraid of the outdoors and the cold. Skiing, fishing, boating, camping, hiking is impossible to seperate from who I am as a person. I would never share my life with someone who did not share these things with me enthusiastically. To be a ski addict to me means having a goal of 50 days a year on the hill. Those expenses as well as that many nights and days away from home during the winter requires such a commitment if you have a full time job too that I don't know how a relationship involving a ski addict with a non-skier could ever work out. Fortunately, my SO taught me to love all these things over 20 years ago and we still get out and play every day that we can.

I can't wait to hear those binding snap down on my boots again! Thanks to all of you for helping me remember how lucky I am.

 

[tirolerpeter]

I respect you guys for "working it out" but I can't imagine having anything in common with a housebound man who was afraid of the outdoors and the cold. Skiing, fishing, boating, camping, hiking is impossible to seperate from who I am as a person. I would never share my life with someone who did not share these things with me enthusiastically. To be a ski addict to me means having a goal of 50 days a year on the hill. Those expenses as well as that many nights and days away from home during the winter requires such a commitment if you have a full time job too that I don't know how a relationship involving a ski addict with a non-skier could ever work out. Fortunately, my SO taught me to love all these things over 20 years ago and we still get out and play every day that we can.

I can't wait to hear those binding snap down on my boots again! Thanks to all of you for helping me remember how lucky I am.

How about three great kids, complementary interests in travel (cultural encounters/exchanges) history, literature, linquistics, and shared philosophical perspectives regarding politics, social issues, religion (or as the case may be atheism)? Would that help you understand "working it out?"

 

[Terry]

My wife got me interested in skiing 6 years ago, and I don't think she realized what she was creating. We spend every weekend all winter together skiing, and I sneak in a lot of nights also. She doesn't have the bug as bad as I do, but she understands and lets me go even when she doesn't want to.She doesn't like the soft spring skiing, and I absolutely love it, so there are lots of spring days that we are not together. But she created this monster so she can't complain (to much). All my honey do projects have to wait till ski season is over!

 

[riverc0il]

Those expenses as well as that many nights and days away from home during the winter requires such a commitment if you have a full time job too that I don't know how a relationship involving a ski addict with a non-skier could ever work out.

actually, it is quite easy to do these things, as long as you have a SO that is understanding of your pursuits.