Overprotective or Overreacting?

[MRGisevil]

Ok, I have a question for all you married/attached guys out there regarding your wife/ girlfriend/ favorite goat/ skiing alone. I suppose this requires a little backstory first:

My ski partner moved away this summer and I don't really know any women (or anyone) in my area who skis as frequently as I do, which is typically atleast 1 day on the weekend and 1 night during the week every week. So now my only ski buddy is hubby, which I don't mind at all save for the fact that he's much less enthusiastic about the sport, caring only to ski once every few weeks.

Well, I told him that if he didn't want to ski as much as I did, I'd just start going by myself. Had a bit of a cow at that. "You can't go by yourself....what if something happens..might get abducted....blah blah, blah, blah, blah"- stopped listening. So now we're at a bit of a dead end with this whole thing; he doesn't want to up his ski days any and I have no intention of reducing mine.

So, what do you guys think? Is he being overprotective? Would you do the same thing? Or should I tell him to stuff it and head up anyway? Advice would be great :dunce:

(Greg-sorry if this is in the wrong spot....)

 

[Phildozer]

Are you considering overnight trips or just days?

 

[Brettski]

Man I wish I had that problem...which wouldn't be a problem at all

I try and have my wife and sister go away for long weekend once a year...and I have 3 kids

However, do you go out and shop/ run errands all day?

What's the difference

How far is the mountain?

All that said though, I found out a long time ago to not ski alone

OPk, Ok, so I was in the woods at Cannnon by myself and cracked some ribs

What about a ski club, or ski with some AZer's?

 

[bvibert]

I'm sure there are plenty of guys on AZ that would go skiing with you instead, maybe that would make him feel better. Personally I'd rather my wife skied alone than with most of the creeps on this forum...

Seriously, seems a bit overprotective to me, but I can see where he's coming from.

 

[MRGisevil]

Day trips- less than two hours away. There are always AZ trips but I can't always get to the locations, and haven't had much luck with ski clubs around here. I belong to one but most of the members are a good haul away from me.

 

[campgottagopee]

Go skiing.PERIOD:evil:

 

[cbcbd]

Overreacting and overprotective

Sounds like my GF when I tell her that I hike, ski, climb with people I meet on online message boards!

 

[deadheadskier]

In my situation, my girlfriend doesn't ski at all and has not interest to. She can't stand the winter. I ski every Sunday during the winter, which happens to be the only day off we share together. She understands that its a passion of mine and if I were to cut back, I would not be happy. Would she rather I spent all day Sunday with her? Sure, but she also wants me to be happy. If she were equally as passionate about a hobby, I wouldn't have a problem with her approaching it the same way as I do.

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

Great topic - 100 replys plus for sure.

Tell him to shove it. You're willing to go with him, but he doesn't want to go more. Why should you have to go less?

He's also not afraid of you hurting yourself, he's afraid of guys hitting on you. There’s a ton of single guys skiing at any mountain and very few single women, so his fear is well founded.

You are holding all the cards here, play them well.

 

[ALLSKIING]

The only problem I see is the night skiing....Other then that I think he is being a bit over overprotective. Have your cell phone on you and call him a few times while your gone to make him feel better.

 

[Greg]

(Greg-sorry if this is in the wrong spot....)

No. This works.

My advice: simply try to communicate how important skiing is to you; that it in part defines who you are, and if he tries to take that away, he's trying to change the person he married.

My wife skis, but is in no way as whacky about it as I am. She understands how important it is to me though and doesn't try to hold me back. Of course, responsibilities with the kids and stuff sometimes precludes me from going as much as I would like to, but normally we strike a very fair balance. I try to encourage her to do things she likes (that I might not like) to do on her own to keep it even. It's all about balance.

As far as the over protectiveness thing: From a personal safety standpoint, I don't think skiing solo as a woman being any more of a risk than going to the grocery store, quite honestly. He doesn't disallow you to do that, does he? As far as the physical risk, if you're skiing in bounds, no problem. Out of bounds, you're obviously much better off with others.

 

[Brettski]

He's also not afraid of you hurting yourself, he's afraid of guys hitting on you. There’s a ton of single guys skiing at any mountain and very few single women, so his fear is well founded.

I can see the problem

http://forums.alpinezone.com/members/mrgisevil.html

You on the left or right

 

[2knees]

oh man this one hits close to home. after having too many arguments to remember about my skiing time i learned to impersonate Clark Kent.

what she dont know, cant hurt me. lol.

although i wouldnt recommend this course of action, it does work for me.

 

[Brettski]

Oh, and he should suck it up and go

What does he planning on doing in the winter anyway?

And it's only 1 day out of the weekend

 

[Greg]

Sounds like my GF when I tell her that I hike, ski, climb with people I meet on online message boards!

Another good point. I know I personally felt a little weird the first time meeting people from the "Internet." I've learned that it's no different than meeting people from anywhere else. Common sense dictates how much at risk you are.

Great topic - 100 replys plus for sure.

Ha! :lol:

He's also not afraid of you hurting yourself, he's afraid of guys hitting on you. There’s a ton of single guys skiing at any mountain and very few single women, so his fear is well founded.

Right on and way to keep it real.

 

[wa-loaf]

If you post your own AZ trip I'm sure people will show up.

Did you ski this much before you got married? Or have you become hooked since?

 

[Marc]

I feel as though I may have been slighted here....

 

[reefer]

ski

Tell him to shove it. You only live once. I can't believe he had a cow. Deadhead said it best. I am married to the "ski widow". I pretty much pack up and leave every weekend with her blessing because she knows my passion for it! If he really loved you and trusted you it is ridiculous not to let you go. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, isn't that what they say? I give the ski widow enough attention on Sunday night to fill a whole weekend (even if my sorry ass is totally dragging), and she is happy with that. Maybe you can make a deal with hubby! She never plans anything between November and April. Summers are all hers and I follow her every command........

And PM me about a club I'm in. I also am heading down route 2 then up to Vermont always, so I would gladly chaperone you. I ski Mt. Snow mostly but get around to other places. I'm not a total freak, just slightly. My pics on my Okemo TR today and I actually look pretty normal! And I'm happily married so your jealous husband doesn't have to worry. (Too funny Brettski, I wouldn't let her go either.....just kidding)

 

[Marc]

And in response to the actual question posed, yes he's being a hoser, no you shouldn't listen to him.

My girlfriend is into distance running and is part of a track club. I've never asked her to change. She tells me about the guys she is friends with and I don't care because I trust her, and I trust her to know when she's in a dangerous situation, because she's savvy like that. She doesn't need me being overbearing any more than you need your husband to be as such.

 

[mattchuck2]

Yeah, they have Women Only Lessons at most mountains, I'd go ahead and get in on one of those in an effort to meet some new skiing partners.

Skiing by yourself kind of sucks . . . Not because you might get hurt (although I guess that's possible), just because lift rides are boring when you ride alone, and the only thing better than experiences are shared experiences.

I don't run into this problem with my wife . . . but I think she would have a problem if I took my ex-girlfriend up on her offer of free skiing at Smuggs if I visit