Overprotective or Overreacting?

[highpeaksdrifter]

And PM me about a club I'm in. I also am heading down route 2 then up to Vermont always, so I would gladly chaperone you. I ski Mt. Snow mostly but get around to other places. I'm not a total freak, just slightly. My pics on my Okemo TR today and I actually look pretty normal! And I'm happily married so your jealous husband doesn't have to worry. (Too funny Brettski, I wouldn't let her go either.....just kidding)

My girlfriend is into distance running and is part of a track club. I've never asked her to change. She tells me about the guys she is friends with and I don't care because I trust her, and I trust her to know when she's in a dangerous situation, because she's savvy like that. She doesn't need me being overbearing any more than you need your husband to be as such.

When boys and girls play together stuff happens. I've seen it happen lots of times and so have most of you. If the guy finds his "just friends" female companion attrective he wants to get with her whether he acts on it at first or not. Through in some drinks after a great day skiing together....Just sayin.

 

[reefer]

Yeah, they have Women Only Lessons at most mountains, I'd go ahead and get in on one of those in an effort to meet some new skiing partners.

Skiing by yourself kind of sucks . . . Not because you might get hurt (although I guess that's possible), just because lift rides are boring when you ride alone, and the only thing better than experiences are shared experiences.

I don't run into this problem with my wife . . . but I think she would have a problem if I took my ex-girlfriend up on her offer of free skiing at Smuggs if I visit

The first is a great point! I see these gatherings for women only all the time! (tried to get in on a couple but......) I've actually seen weekend womans clinics with tickets, meals, lodging, etc... where you could surely bond and find other girl friends. Start scouring web sites................I know Okemo has many womans only clinics.

Don't agree with the skiing alone part. Have met some "interesting " people on lift rides, etc..... And I only go where I want to go............I know the risk of injury but.........I'm not going to stay home because I can't find anyone to go with, and I'm still going in the woods (maybe not so deep into the woods).

As for the third part, instant death if skiing with ex-girlfirend.......................

 

[billski]

Here's my story

I've been married 22 years. My wife's interest in skiing declined rapidly after our children could ski, for whatever reason. I would try to find others to go with me, but sometimes there are powder days and no friends...So solo I would go. She really didn't like it, because she thought I'd end up a corpse in the woods, attacked by a tree traveling at 30mph, and falling into a ravine. So I made a compromise that works.

When I ski alone, I promise to:
1) never ski in un-patrolled areas.
2) never ski woods alone (duh, that goes anytime, but it's now stated.)
3) bring a radio and a whistle (cell phones don't work).
4) always tell her what resort I'm going to be at (I make a lot of last minute change.)
5) bring snacks to give to bears so they don't eat me :razz:

You're female and that's your second issue. So, to handle that I propose the same due diligence that you would have when visiting Gotham:
a) Never walk in dark alleys (or dark parking lots)
b) Don't visit the bar.:-o
c) E.T., phone home. Let him know you're done, you're safely in your car and you're on your way home. What's for dinner, honey??


I find if you set the expectations upfront, his fears will be probably allayed or at least minimized. If not, he's paranoid.

 

[Dr Skimeister]

Like several of the other guys here, I am more passionate about skiing than my wife is. I do several trips each winter, both day trips and even overnighters as a solo. My wife gets away at least once each winter to snowboard without me, but always with a girlfriend of hers. If your husband understands that skiing is "your thing" I would hope that he would be OK with you getting out to ski more often than he wants to get out. You'd have to be understanding in a reciprocal way if he was a golfer that "had" to be out every weekend playing golf.

Make the most of your time together, but also make the most of your time alone.

 

[Grassi21]

This has been an interesting read so far.

My wife is a runner. She has met up and done a bunch of runs with TEAM in Training members. It doesn't bother me. I'm not a runner (at least not a distance runner) and I'd hate to see her slack on training because she has no one to run with.

In college and after graduating I was an immature, untrusting, semi-meathead. I was jealous to a point where it got in the way of our relationship. As I matured my level of trust in her increased. It was MY insecurity that made me jealous.

Get your ski days in MRG. But if you ski w/Marc, make sure there is at least one other person with you. ;-)

 

[reefer]

When boys and girls play together stuff happens. I've seen it happen lots of times and so have most of you. If the guy finds his "just friends" female companion attrective he wants to get with her whether he acts on it at first or not. Through in some drinks after a great day skiing together....Just sayin.

I was brought up that if I had nothing good to say, just shut up, so I'll just shut up..............................is this yor husband MRG?

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

I was brought up that if I had nothing good to say, just shut up, so I'll just shut up..............................is this yor husband MRG?

Don't shut up let er rip. I can take it and give it back as good as I get.

 

[ssudha17]

In my situation, my girlfriend doesn't ski at all and has not interest to. She can't stand the winter.

I am kinda in the same boat. My wife can ski but doesnt enjoy it much and hence will come out with me maybe twice a season. She would prefer to have me around over weekends which I would want to spend on the slopes. I find that she is ok with me being away for a stretch (like a week long ski trip) with buddies but complains when I am out every weekend. If there is a snow shower, I will be out but on other not-so-special days I try to balance it out as far as possible although I wish I could get her to love this sport as much as I do in which case, I would not have this problem.

 

[prisnah]

Tell him to stuff it and head up anyways.

 

[prisnah]

In my situation, my girlfriend doesn't ski at all and has not interest to. She can't stand the winter.

I was in that same situation last winter. Let's just say I chose Valentines Day at Jay over V-day with her.

One of the best choices I've ever made.

 

[billski]

I was in that same situation last winter. Let's just say I chose Valentines Day at Jay over V-day with her.

One of the best choices I've ever made.

Is she still your girlfriend????

 

[billski]

I am kinda in the same boat. My wife can ski but doesnt enjoy it much and hence will come out with me maybe twice a season. She would prefer to have me around over weekends which I would want to spend on the slopes. I find that she is ok with me being away for a stretch (like a week long ski trip) with buddies but complains when I am out every weekend. If there is a snow shower, I will be out but on other not-so-special days I try to balance it out as far as possible although I wish I could get her to love this sport as much as I do in which case, I would not have this problem.

Tell her it's only 3 months (er, maybe a wee bit more out of 12, she's got you the other 9.

 

[Marc]

When boys and girls play together stuff happens. I've seen it happen lots of times and so have most of you. If the guy finds his "just friends" female companion attrective[sic] he wants to get with her whether he acts on it at first or not. Through[sic] in some drinks after a great day skiing together....Just sayin.

Well, for a moment there, you had me worried sick about Meredith. Fortunately she's a runner and this apparently is only a phenomenon inherent to skiing.

Randi, HPD is right. You certainly should not go skiing alone with another male aside from your husband because apres you will end up at the bar where you'll either not be able to keep your legs closed or you'll be raped in a fit of inebriated aggression.

It makes perfect sense to me.

 

[campgottagopee]

Well, for a moment there, you had me worried sick about Meredith. Fortunately she's a runner and this apparently is only a phenomenon inherent to skiing.

Randi, HPD is right. You certainly should not go skiing alone with another male aside from your husband because apres you will end up at the bar where you'll either not be able to keep your legs closed or you'll be raped in a fit of inebriated aggression.

It makes perfect sense to me.

There's an old saying---boys will be boys if girls will let them

 

[MRGisevil]

Thanks for the input guys. It has been a funny and very intersting read with alot of good tips.

Tim's never really been the jealous type, so I don't really think that has anything to do with it. it's more about trusting me with my surroundings than anything else. His fears seem to revolve more around me hurting myself or having to drive 2 hours home by myself after a day of skiing. Logical? Yes. Infuriating? Yes...

I think I'll take your collective advice, though... continue to reinforce how much I like skiing, and also try and find some women in the area I can hook up with. In the meantime, I'll also try and make it to some more AZ days, and continue to work on him getting out more. Perhaps some new skis are in order for him for X-mas to get him more motivated?

I wouldn't dare go out of bounds by myself; if I were skiing by myself I'd probably stick to blues and mild blacks just to be on the safe side. And the funny thing is, I continued skiing as a hobby to do with him, and ended up getting bit by the bug while he's not so enthusiastic about it anymore.

And...nice Marc. Appreciate the brutal honestly. Don't drink much, and make it a habit never to do so unless Tim's around. Brett... I'm in the white pants. Not sure if that's left or right at the moment.

 

[Paul]

Take my wife...PLEASE!!!!


Ya rly. Take her, she could use a little practice, and I could use the....um....yeah...ooohhh, lookatthetimegottagokthxbye!

 

[ssudha17]

Tell her it's only 3 months (er, maybe a wee bit more out of 12, she's got you the other 9.

I play professional badminton and hence go for practice twice a week for that too. I plan to cut on those practice days to make room for more skiing this season. Last year when we went to VT for a long weekend, my wife bummed out in the hotel all 3 days reading books, swimming, etc while I enjoyed every day on the slopes and went out with her in the evenings. Both of us enjoyed the trip.

 

[campgottagopee]

Take my wife...PLEASE!!!!


Ya rly. Take her, she could use a little practice, and I could use the....um....yeah...ooohhh, lookatthetimegottagokthxbye!

Now that is funny stuff

 

[riverc0il]

First, love the Snarf avatar!

Overprotective all the way. My situation is a life partner that doesn't ski at all. A weekend "ski widow" for all practical purposes and I get out 50 days per year. She knows it is my thing and I am not myself if I don't go for what I need to go for. Anything less is not acceptable and she understands that is who I am and what makes me part of the entire package that she loves. She respects that. Additionally, she knows it is a risky sport and I participate at a very risky level, over and above average risk. While she gets nervous sometimes, especially since I have broken an arm pursuing the activity, she would never even think of trying to hold me back. Since she doesn't ski, the option is not there to increase her days. But to try to decrease your days, IMHO, is not only overprotective but controlling and not in line with how significant others should approach a relationship.... by holding someone down instead of challenging them to pursue their dreams.

 

[riverc0il]

On a more practical note, something you could do to ease his fears are establish reasonable guidelines such as not skiing trees, not skiing off the map, getting home before dark, etc. I think these are a bit excessive but it is always good to have a compromise plan when discussing such issues to reassure. The question I would ask him is this: "if you wanted to do an activity that I was not interested in, how would you feel if I suggested not doing it for safety reasons?" If he says he wouldn't do it because you didn't want him to... you know he's whipped and that means trouble for you both Seriously though, driving is the most dangerous part of the activity but you drive everywhere else right? Most accidents happen within what... like 5 miles of home or something like that? Practically speaking, having him view the situation through your position and countering any safety concerns with precautions you can take to keep safe is the best approach.