Overprotective or Overreacting?

[Brettski]

go sking

period

EDIT: I take 3 kids skiing...you think that's easy?......well it is now...but a husband?

sit in the bar if he's so worried for god's sake

 

[darent]

I ski more than my wife, i do go skiing by myself and always find people to ski with. I will chase a storm, she doesn't like skiing deep snow and is more than happy to get me out of the house!!

 

[Greg]

blowing chunks

seriously

Way to make the newb feel welcome. :roll:

 

[MRGisevil]

Sorry for any confusion on my end. By "overprotective or overreacting", Paul hit it right on the nose. My question was is he being overprotective, or am I overreacting to his concerns? And certainly didn't mean to get anyone fired up over the hole thing!

Sev- thanks for the advice. I think that a floating girl's night @ Sundown is a great idea... and I'm willing to start whenever you are. (In fact I think I'll post in the events forum after this). Also, I do plan on honoring limits such as length of stay, boundaries, driving distance, etc. Doesn't matter if I'm at a big mountain or a smaller, local one. I just want to be out there. Also, we do have alot of activities that do involve each other that ultimately tear us apart for a good majority of the week... so it's not like it'd be overkill if I could get him to ski more. It'd just be a good chance to spend more time with him.

HPD- understand exactly what you're saying and do appreciate it. 'His or Her circumstances' can pop up in any situation and this sort of thing has happened to me in the past, I've just ignored it.

Lastly, been chatting with Greg in PM about this, and Tim's definately getting dragged to Hunter on the 14th so he can get a sense of what you AZers are really like, possibly with some new skis to try out. My hope is that he will witness you all ripping it up, fall in love with the sport all over again and demand that we make it to every AZ trip, and make it in time to hit first chair.

 

[highpeaksdrifter]

HPD- understand exactly what you're saying and do appreciate it. 'His or Her circumstances' can pop up in any situation and this sort of thing has happened to me in the past, I've just ignored it.

Thanks for writing that, because I certainly wasn’t trying to offend you or anyone else. I was writing based on situations I’ve seen unfold with other people over my adult life.

You seem like a very nice young lady and I hope you have a great season. I wish my wife cared about skiing the way you do.

 

[bvibert]

Lastly, been chatting with Greg in PM about this, and Tim's definately getting dragged to Hunter on the 14th so he can get a sense of what you AZers are really like, possibly with some new skis to try out. My hope is that he will witness you all ripping it up, fall in love with the sport all over again and demand that we make it to every AZ trip, and make it in time to hit first chair.

Then you have to get him to start posting here... :idea:

 

[drjeff]

EDIT: I take 3 kids skiing...you think that's easy?......well it is now...but a husband?

sit in the bar if he's so worried for god's sake

I hear you, I'll go solo with the kids a few weekends a season when my wife feels a bit overwhelmed with the day to day stuff that can pile up at home, and getting both kids up (ages basically 2 and 4) fed, dressed, out the door, to the mountain, the young one to daycare, the older one to ski school, all by 8:45 without forgetting any item of clothing (or the occasional kid ), it's about a 2 hour process of what often resembles utter chaos. Many mornings after I drop the older one off at ski school and finally am able to go skiing by myself(no wife restrictions as to where/what terrain I can ski )I almost feel like taking a 30 minute rest in the lodge before clicking into the bindings!

Bottom Line to bring this back to the starting point. If you're sensible about your skiing and don't do crazy stuff while skiing solo, he shouldn't worry anymore about you than if you went out to the mall for an afternoon of shopping. If it's more than that amount of worry, you'll be having similar discussions throughout the future of your relationship. (Note, this is coming from someone married for 10 years after dating that person for 4 years before getting married)

 

[skidbump]

As some one who was once over protective"insecure in relationship" your are not by any means being over reactive.You should do what ever you want,when ever you want and you husband should be able to do the same.You should give him your blessings and he should give his,He doesn't own you nor you him.If he doesn't understand this then the relationship is doomed.

Priority number 1 is you
Priority number 2 is him
but
if you have children he gets bumped to 3"sometimes not all the time"
But you stay number 1
Same goes for him
You must do what is good for you and invite him to join but never let him rule you .If he says no your not, then sorry to say end it and start to live the life you want to ,not the life he wants you to lead.

Also must remember it goes both ways.
You will never change him and he should not try to change you ,again visa versa...

 

[Ski Diva]

I know you asked for advice from guys, but can I add in? And also suggest maybe asking this on theskidiva.com as well? Might help to have a woman's perspective.

Agree with this completely. Post this question over there. You'd get some interesting results. And you might connect with someone to ski with, too!

Myself, I have no problem skiing alone or driving all over the place to do so. My husband understands my passion and wants to keep me happy.

But if you do go alone, you need to so some planning. For example, be sure you have your health insurance card with you. Bring a cell phone. And have an injury plan in place, in case you get hurt (for example, how would you get home?). Above all, be sure to let your husband know where you're going and when to expect you back -- and contact him if you're going to be late! You don't want to cause him needless worry.

My feeling -- he's just concerned about you. Or maybe he's jealous?????

Hope you work it out.

 

[Greg]

Priority number 1 is you
Priority number 2 is him
but
if you have children he gets bumped to 3"sometimes not all the time"
But you stay number 1
Same goes for him

Sorta. I thought I was #1 in my wife's eyes before we were married. After the wedding we were kinda even. After my first daughter was born, I dropped to #3 and now with two kids, I'm kinda just chillin' in the #4 slot. Still ahead of the cat though...

 

[reefer]

First of all I wasn't offended at all. HPD's point is valid and I have seen it numerous times, but it seems the workplace outweighs anything else. I just think HPD could have made his point without my quote, that's all, sort of like a copyright infringement. I'm sure I'll meet HPD sooner or later and have a blast skiing with him based on his many posts. People can think what they want, I'm too old to worry about such frivolous things, and I have a great thing going with my wife that I wouldn't want to screw up for anything or anyone. Don't take this the wrong way, but skiing takes priority over even sex at this point in my life, not that sex isn't great.
I was just offering the lady a ride because I head that way a lot. I hope she might take someone up on that once or twice a year. Yeah, that will lead to something......................................


P.S. Can't believe the post headed in this direction, but we are closing in on 100.............

 

[Grassi21]

Sorta. I thought I was #1 in my wife's eyes before we were married. After the wedding we were kinda even. After my first daughter was born, I dropped to #3 and now with two kids, I'm kinda just chillin' in the #4 slot. Still ahead of the cat though...

At least you are ahead of the cat. I have 2 dogs to contend with. ;-)

 

[ctenidae]

My girlfriend is into distance running and is part of a track club..

That's just a survival skill, where you're involved.



On topic, crappy situation, but it is what it is. In the end, you're probably going to have to do some version of "Suck it up, cupcake" and go skiing. How gently you do it depends on your relationship.

 

[tjf67]

Yeah I am, it wasn't directed at you or anyone in particular.

Two years ago a divorced attractive woman started taking to my wife and I at a school function. It turns out she was an avid skier and her and I got into a long conversation about it.

That was ok with my wife, but when we went in to the school auditorium the woman sat next to me and continued talking to me. I could tell my wife was getting pissed off even though in our 20 years of marriage I have never strayed.

On the way out of the school show the attractive woman said it would be fun if her and her son and me and mine went skiing some time. She dropped her son off at our house about a week later to hang out with mine and asked me when we could go skiing?

I asked my wife if it was ok with her (she is not the jealous type) and she said “There’s no freakin way that’s going to happen and if you go with her, even with the kids, we will have a major problem.”

I said, “ Why would a beautiful, younger single woman be interested in a 51 year old, married, bald teacher for anything but skiing.”

She said, “We’ve had a great marriage for 20 years, why take the chance, even good men are weak when it comes to a pretty face.”

I’m not the running around womanizing type, and I never went skiing with her, but I have to admit I fantasized about that woman for a while. It’s the nature of the beast.

There, know I’ve laid my soul bare, so don’t take it personal. I meant no harm.

The best way to stay out of trouble is not to get into it in the first place. Wise decision on your part.

 

[Paul]

Sorry for any confusion on my end. By "overprotective or overreacting", Paul hit it right on the nose. My question was is he being overprotective, or am I overreacting to his concerns? And certainly didn't mean to get anyone fired up over the hole thing!

Yay me!!

i can haz cookie?

 

[Marc]

Hey Marc,
Thanks for ripping my posts apart. While it’s true, as you so eloquently point out, that I did not make my point clearly, at least they where not meant to be insulting or condescending toward you. I’m done trying to placate you; you can stay up on your high cow for all I care.

Fixed.

In any case, I do believe you requested the ripping. I'm happy to oblige.

 

[Brettski]

I hear you, I'll go solo with the kids a few weekends a season when my wife feels a bit overwhelmed with the day to day stuff that can pile up at home, and getting both kids up (ages basically 2 and 4) fed, dressed, out the door, to the mountain, the young one to daycare, the older one to ski school, all by 8:45 without forgetting any item of clothing (or the occasional kid ), it's about a 2 hour process of what often resembles utter chaos. Many mornings after I drop the older one off at ski school and finally am able to go skiing by myself(no wife restrictions as to where/what terrain I can ski )I almost feel like taking a 30 minute rest in the lodge before clicking into the bindings!

And it gets easier....make sure when they get older to take responsibility for their own stuuf...carry their own skis, et them boot bags each, help them boot up, but it'll get to a point where they can do it on their own...kids are now 14/11/10

Took A LOT of energy to keep moving forward...but I'll be damned if I give up skiing....

On another point to bring it back to this thread...yes you shouldn't feel like you have to do everything together...BUT...the sheer effort of getting together to hit the mountain for a day trip definetly brings you closer..especially with kids...

As a younger married couple without kids...going away for a week, for example, staying at the trapp lodge and skiing Stowe/Sugar/Smuggs/Jay...is well just damn romantic


Sorry about the badmiton thing...it really is a sport...an olympic one I believe

 

[Marc]

That's just a survival skill, where you're involved.

I'd be offended more if it wasn't true. She can run really fast too. The only reason we're still together is I can ride my bike faster than she can run.

 

[Greg]

Sorry about the badmiton thing...it really is a sport...an olympic one I believe

Plus I'm sure he can kick your ass at the family picnic.

 

[Brettski]

Plus I'm sure he can kick your ass at the family picnic.

I wonder how badminton translates into tennis...then we can talk

but yes, I'm sure...I've known some competitve players...it's a differnet game then the backyard variety

Let's just not play football on the slopes

Hey, back to the topic thread...I noticed no one has mentioned anything about comprimise